Calling all Lightworkers :)

[ninanin]

Miss-Zazi95

You sound like a very sweet and loving young lady. Young at age but an "old and wise soul" !
Good for you not following your classmates and daring to be unique.

I would like to give you an advise if I may.  Please do not give up on people. There are so many kind and loving souls out there.  You have one friend now and I am sure there will come many more.  Keep it in your heart that you will find them one day !

Loving animals is precious. Love is precious. Love and be happy ! L.O.V.E.


much love

[ninanin]

I know what you mean about classical music. I also think that goes for any music that is without words and has a meditative aspect to it. I am a massage therapist and I just love playing classical or asian music while I work, it's so relaxing and it's almost as if my movements created the words to the song, much as your paintings create the words to the music you listen to, right?


Jacilovesmichael

I never thought of it that way ... that was a beautiful way of saying it.  Thank you :=)

much love

[BeTheChange]

I wanted to share something with you all...you may or may not have come across it before.  It has always spoken directly to my heart and perhaps (ironically) may explain why most of us have always felt like we were on the 'outside' looking in.  Having read all of the posts in this thread, it's clear we do share similar stories...one clear similarity is that we have felt alone and/or that we didn't 'fit' in with the world and people around us.  For me, the choice to have few 'friends', and to surround myself with very select people, stems from my experiences in discovering that most people aren't 'real'....and that my 'light' energy quickly evaporates in their presence.  I think most of you will relate to this poem/writing (which I have had posted on my fridge for years!) because it speaks to what is truly important, and what so many (unfortunately) miss out on discovering because they are so wrapped up in superficial meaninglessness.  Hope you enjoy it!

Wisdom from an Indian Elder

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers
and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God's presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief
and despair, weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

With L.O.V.E. always.

[Rita Hayworth]

BetheChange - this is wonderful. It's going on the fridge, next to my bed, by my desk, etc.
so I can read it when I get those "I'm feeling different" moods.

What a wonderful gift Michael has given us - each other!!!

[Doctor Death]

I cut off my connection with the "divine creator" a long time ago......if there is any such creator that is. Personally, I have always felt that this creator is a very very utterly confused guy/girl....just like the few of us.

@Jaci

For years I have longed for the right words to explain my situation and today...you used just the right ones......reading your post was comforting--the pain part that is....and also the "mindlessness" and "conformity" of the world is what torments me everyday.  :evil:

[looking4truth]

BeTheChange, thanks for sharing this beautiful writing. Love it.

[jacilovesmichael]

OMG !
I just can NOT believe it.
What has been posted before is EXACTLY me ! As Jaci said : it's like I'm reading my OWN words. I agree with EVERYTHING posted above. We're the same. WE'RE ALL ONE !

I wanna thank Michael for bringing us together, for his songs, his speeches, his charity work, and most importantly for sharing his LOVE with billions of people around the globe ! I believe it's the most precious thing.

My life has completely changed since the 25th June, and more confidant, spiritual, sensitive. My current situation is like I'm living 2 lives in two different worlds. My own world helps to escape the reality. That's why I refuse to leave those forums no matter what will happen at the end, it's my real home. It's here where I can be 100 % myself. I don't like spending HOURS in front of a cold machine but I didn't that through this cold machine, I'll recieve so much love and support which is something impossible in reality  :cry:
I'm usually unheard, misundertood or ignored  :lol: That's part of my life.

I'm 14 yrs old and I feel comfortable with FEW people, I'm totally unlike my classmates. They have something different going on in their minds as popularity, money, sex ...  :|
I'm not into that, that's why I don't have friends. I have ONE loyal friend, we know each other since the elementry school and we became close the three last years. This year, we are not in the same class, we meet from time to time only. I didn't make new friends since our separation.
I CAN finally deal with loneliness now.

While writing this post, I was interupted by my mom who was screaming and shouting because I had my cat in the bedroom. I don't care if she doesn't like animals, I do. I don't want my cat out. I NEED this animal's love. I couldn't bear what she was saying  :cry: I'm SICK, I'm really tired of this world. I can't cope anymore. I almost gave up with humans ! I'm DONE !  :cry:

Sweetheart, I just want to give you a hug. I cannot believe some of the things I'm reading, I feel like your post was me when I was in high school. 14 years old was about 7 years ago for me but it feels like yesterday. I had SUCH a hard time socially. In a way, it was alright because I was able to get along with all different kinds of people, I didn't really fit into one group or "clique". It was difficult though because all my friends growing up turned out to be the "jocks" and the "popular kids" in high school so I grew further and further apart from the ones who I thought were my friends. I've learned now that true friends are NOT the ones you've known the longest. And a social life is definitely not measured by how many friends you have. The quality of the relationships is so much more important than quantity.

I feel for you sooo much because high school is SUCH a hard time for everyone, ESPECIALLY sensitive people like us. There will be many times you feel like giving up, like running away or just withdrawing into yourself. There will be lots of challenges. But please listen to my words and believe them... it's going to be okay! One day, awhile from now but not too long in the scheme of things, you are going to be thankful for those tough times, and you will find a way to live in this world happily. The problem with high school is that everything is almost created for you, there is little choice in the activities done in high school and I really think this is why so many turn to drugs and sex like you say.Our human spirits long for a chance to create things, even if one isn't aware of it. But once you realize that your spirit isn't made for the little box they try to put you in, and once your done with all those obligations, you will truly start to find your way and your painful experiences will only add fuel to your fire that will burn bright for everyone to see.

The only other advice I have is to start a journal if you don't have one. That helped me so much to sort through my feelings, and often times allowed for creativity to spark. When I was upset, I would just start writing and sometimes the coolest stories or poems were the result, and suddenly a bad day became a good one   Also, try to keep in touch with the friend you were talking about. It's very hard to do when you don't see each other much, but maybe try to make time after school or something. And if not, try not to close yourself off completely. I know what its like to feel like nobody understands you, and maybe that nobody is really the type of perssn you want to be friends with. But  I also found out in highschool that there are a lot of kids just doing whatever it takes to fit in, and that there is something different, something more in their hearts. So instead of joining in with groups of people, I would try to catch people when they were alone (in the library or at their locker or something), and just start friendly conversations. As time went on for me, I made lots of friendships that I never could have anticipated. And sometimes they didn't turn out to be lifelong friends, but just a friend I was supposed to have at that time, in that math class, in that lunch period, etc. It's amazing how we can make heart to heart connections with people that last a lifetime, even when the friendship itself fades away.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. If you EVER need a friend to talk to who understands, feel free to PM me. I mean it. I love you already!

PS - Your mom loves you too. Most parents have just drifted so far from that childhood innocence that it's hard for them to relate to their kids, and animals as well. My mom and I had a very turbulent relationship, but I'm able to see the meaning in it now. To this day she doesn't exactly understand me, but she has accepted me and loved me anyway which means the world.

[BeTheChange]

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it...it's something I've cherished for years.  It also has reminded me of Michael many times...although he didn't write it, I think he would love it as well.  

@Doctor Death...your post has intrigued me.  There were many times in my life (even nowadays) where my 'faith' in a 'divine creator' is challenged...yet, I somehow always come back to a 'feeling' that He/She/It does exist...just perhaps in a way that we can't understand.  It may be too personal a subject for you--and if it is, I understand.  But I would be very interested in knowing more of your 'story', if you are comfortable in doing so, and what finally led you to your conclusion(s).

With L.O.V.E. always.

[Serenitys_Dream]

I too felt so alienated as a child that I actually asked my parents if they had adopted me. Even after they tried to convince me that I was their child and that I was home,  I did not believe them and cried myself to sleep many times. At one point it got so bad that I wanted to die.

WoW! I used to actually tell people "I'm not like them, I was adopted" when I was a child in reference to my family. It used to make my mother laugh so hard because of course I am not adopted. Strange coincidence though.  :lol:

I also had that terrible feeling of not being understood. Like I was n`t speaking the same language. Through my hole life I have come to see friends as more close to me than my own family.

I understand this completely! I often have felt that I must explain myself repeatedly as if I am speaking a completely different language and no one is understanding what I mean, no matter how hard I try.

I also believe that classical music is a direct portal to the divine spirit. I have been painting a few years. At one point I started to listen to classical music while painting and the quality of the paintings went sky high. (IMO) :=)  Classical music to me is my way of meditating. You can imagine the smile on my face the first time I read that MJ always listened to classical music ! Don`t have to tell me twice !

Yes, I also agree with this. I find classical music relaxes me and opens my mind to new ideas and perspectives. I  listen to it when I want to be creative or am having a rough time.

Finishing this off I just want to say that I have never been the big fan of MJ. I loved his music for the beat... loved to dance to his music but never listened to the words.  Until he disappeared that is, wow I never knew Mj was so spiritual and he has now moved me with his words more than any other. MJ is now "all" I listen to ( with some classical in between ).

I had never really listened to Michael's music before June 25, 2009 but the first time I did, I totally got the spiritual messages and also felt moved. I play his songs frequently, they are truly beautiful and have such depth to them.

[jacilovesmichael]

@BeTheChange - I'm crying (Again! haha)... that was absolutely beautiful and you are so right, I feel (once again) that I wrote that myself. It is so true and 100% how I view life. Seeing it put into those words just sparked something in me that I can't explain. This thread itself and the response I've gotten from you all has made me feel like a new person. It's like, acknowledging these things about myself was the first step, but then announcing them to the world and having others feel the SAME as me really just took this huge heavy feeling off my shoulders and replaced it with something a lot more pleasant and useful.

We need to LIVE THIS! We need to stop hiding from the world, even when it's difficult. Because only light can drive out the darkness. If we sit idly by, where's the fight in that? Omg, that just reminded me of an awesome song. I will post it! More words of wisdom from jaci: Listen to Ben Harper (he's second on my playlist...Michael being first of course!!)!    :lol:

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Here's the lyrics, they remind me of Michael quite a bit!

Fight Outta You lyrics

They'll look you in the eyes and stone you
Then turn and disown you, don't you let them take the fight outta you
They'll walk all over your name 'til they find someone else to blame, don't let them take the fight outta you
Secrets hide their lies inside hidden alibis, don't let them take the fight outta you
They put the world on a hook, it's worse every time I look
Don't let them take the fight outta you

I would rather take a punch than not give you a shot
I'd rather find out who you are than who you're not
Should have known better than to mistake business for love
Should have known better than to mistake a fist for a glove

It will be in your honor 'til you're not needed any longer, don't let them take the fight
outta you
Don't believe the headlines, check it for yourself sometimes, don't let them take the fight
outta you
The lies you live become you, the love you lose it numbs you, don't let them take the fightoutta you
They say that you've arrived but that's just a high-class bribe, don't let them take the fightoutta you

There's always someone younger, someone with more hunger, don't let them take the fight outta you
They'll say you're the one and only
Then straight up leave you lonely, don't let them take the fight outta you
Like a transplant-patient waiting for a donor, don't let them take the fight outta you
Like a half empty balloon after a party in the corner, don't let them take the fight outta you

[jacilovesmichael]

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it...it's something I've cherished for years.  It also has reminded me of Michael many times...although he didn't write it, I think he would love it as well.  

@Doctor Death...your post has intrigued me.  There were many times in my life (even nowadays) where my 'faith' in a 'divine creator' is challenged...yet, I somehow always come back to a 'feeling' that He/She/It does exist...just perhaps in a way that we can't understand.  It may be too personal a subject for you--and if it is, I understand.  But I would be very interested in knowing more of your 'story', if you are comfortable in doing so, and what finally led you to your conclusion(s).

With L.O.V.E. always.

I agree, I've been discouraged many times, but I've never really been able to get too far from the feeling of their being a higher power. That's what it is for me, a feeling, a knowing.. not based on logic at all.

I think there is THE creator, that created us. We then became THE creators, but somewhere along the line, people realized that the concept of creation could be used for evil as well as good, hence the corruption..greed especially. We are still creators, that is what we are meant to be I believe, but we've lost touch with our true potential. We can create our world, and we can create THE world. That is why it's so important for those of us who believe in love and light to keep on creating things with love and light, because the ones who create using fear and darkness surely aren't scared of their power. We cannot be scared of ours, or there will not be a victory. My opinion of course...  

[jacilovesmichael]

Here are a couple other Ben Harper songs... he rocks! I love him, his songs are full of truth and inspiration.

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"With My Own Two Hands"Oh- I can change the world, with my own two hands
And make it a better place, Oh- with my own two hands
And make it a kinder place, with my own two hands
Oh- with my own
With my own two hands

Oh- I can make peace on earth, Oh- with my own two hands
And I can clean up the earth, with my own two hands
And I can reach out to you, with my own two hands
Oh- with my own
With my own two hands
Oh- with my own
With my own two hands

I'm gonna make it a brighter place, Oh- with my own two hands
I'm gonna make it a safer place, Oh- with my own two hands
I'm gonna help Jah human race, Yes- Oh- with my own two hands
Oh- with my own
With my own two hands
Oh- with my own
With my own two hands

Now I can, I can hold you, Oh- with my own two hands
And I, and I can comfort you, with my own two hands
But you got, got to use, Oh- use your own two hands
Use your own, use your own two hands
You got to use your own, Oh- use your own two hands
Oh- with our own, with our own two hands
Oh, now, now, with our own
Oh- with our own
With our own two hands
Oh- with our own
Oh- with our own
With our own two hands
Come on
Oh- with our own
With our own two hands
...
With my own
With my own two hands

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"Better Way"

I'm a living sunset
Lightning in my bones
Push me to the edge
But my will is stone

Fools will be fools
And wise will be wise
But i will look this world
Straight in the eyes

What good is a man
Who won't take a stand
What good is a cynic
With no better plan

Reality is sharp
It cuts at me like a knife
Everyone i know
Is in the fight of their life

Take your face out of your hands
And clear your eyes
You have a right to your dreams
And don't be denied

I believe in a better way

[Miss-Zazi95]

Miss-Zazi95

You sound like a very sweet and loving young lady. Young at age but an "old and wise soul" !
Good for you not following your classmates and daring to be unique.

I would like to give you an advise if I may.  Please do not give up on people. There are so many kind and loving souls out there.  You have one friend now and I am sure there will come many more.  Keep it in your heart that you will find them one day !

Loving animals is precious. Love is precious. Love and be happy ! L.O.V.E.


much love

Thanks for the support and love. I TRY to stay positive and to not give up but sometimes I feel like I'm loosing it. I believe there are kind people but the ones around me are NOT, that's why I choose to not hang out with everybody, I can't trust them, I'm afraid of people  :? When I'm out and I can't wait to be at home and stay as long as possible, it's like I'm hiding all the time.

I wish I could meet each one of you. You're all nice people. <3

[Stranger In Chi-town]

Miss-Zazi95

You sound like a very sweet and loving young lady. Young at age but an "old and wise soul" !
Good for you not following your classmates and daring to be unique.

I would like to give you an advise if I may.  Please do not give up on people. There are so many kind and loving souls out there.  You have one friend now and I am sure there will come many more.  Keep it in your heart that you will find them one day !

Loving animals is precious. Love is precious. Love and be happy ! L.O.V.E.


much love

Thanks for the support and love. I TRY to stay positive and to not give up but sometimes I feel like I'm loosing it. I believe there are kind people but the ones around me are NOT, that's why I choose to not hang out with everybody, I can't trust them, I'm afraid of people  :? When I'm out and I can't wait to be at home and stay as long as possible, it's like I'm hiding all the time.

I wish I could meet each one of you. You're all nice people. <3

I'd love to meet you too, Zazi.   I can relate to what you're saying. At best I have many associates and now 2 friends. One lives in Tennesee and we've known each other since 8th grade. The other one is a newer friend from college; I met her this semester. She has been very helpful this week, helping me out with business affairs. Both are very sweet.  =]

[Miss-Zazi95]

Miss-Zazi95

You sound like a very sweet and loving young lady. Young at age but an "old and wise soul" !
Good for you not following your classmates and daring to be unique.

I would like to give you an advise if I may.  Please do not give up on people. There are so many kind and loving souls out there.  You have one friend now and I am sure there will come many more.  Keep it in your heart that you will find them one day !

Loving animals is precious. Love is precious. Love and be happy ! L.O.V.E.


much love

Thanks for the support and love. I TRY to stay positive and to not give up but sometimes I feel like I'm loosing it. I believe there are kind people but the ones around me are NOT, that's why I choose to not hang out with everybody, I can't trust them, I'm afraid of people  :? When I'm out and I can't wait to be at home and stay as long as possible, it's like I'm hiding all the time.

I wish I could meet each one of you. You're all nice people. <3

I'd love to meet you too, Zazi.   I can relate to what you're saying. At best I have many associates and now 2 friends. One lives in Tennesee and we've known each other since 8th grade. The other one is a newer friend from college; I met her this semester. She has been very helpful this week, helping me out with business affairs. Both are very sweet.  =]

I'm really happy for you
Friendship is important. Glad that you have 2 loyal friends.
I hope one day we'll get to meet each other, why not ?