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"I would just like to state (with such emphatic conviction) that Michael is still with us and has always been"...Great post 'mrbigshot' I just wish I had your conviction, but as the years have gone by I'm afraid my faith that everything will be OK and that Michael is still with us has been on a huge rollercoaster of yes and no's! For me, like yourself, there have been times when I am totally sure and confident he's still alive and yet there are times when I am at a complete loss what to think and break down in floods of tears. Of course it helps enormously to have likeminded friends here on the forum to share those times with and it also helps to know that I am not just wishful in my way of thinking! I guess what I worry about most is if I have spent nearly 4 years of my life chasing a lie and that in fact Michael really died that day, selfishly because I could have been further down the line with dealing with the enormous grief that comes with losing him. Like others here I feel the biggest challenge is about to be faced with the AEG trial due to start and I'm not sure how I will feel if Michael's children do in fact take the stand. For me I think that it would be a step to far for me to continue to believe and I may just have to face my grief.Anyway, thank you so much for your uplifting words, they've helped enormously in times of my own doubt.With Love.
@ijustcantstoplovingyou you are in the mist an army full of prayer warriors here. i know that they as well as i will remember you in prayer as they did for my husband when he walked in your shoes. keep us posted and keep the faith! :bearhug: