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This road feels unfamiliarAnd I don't know how many turns I've madeI've been away for quite some timeNot sure of what I wantedBut the weather has changed...The breeze feels unfamiliarAnd I don't recognize the scent in the airI used to hear your voiceIn every little soundBut now the seasons are silentYou feel so distantAnd I can't seem to connectLike really bad actingThat I just can't absorbWhat happened Michael...Everything sounds muffled nowAnd I don't like the absenceOf the fire I used to feelThe glitter that used to shineUp ahead in the distanceThere is a sunset on the horizonIt's not really what I sought afterEspecially not in your nameThe cold feels unfamiliarSomething I was never prepared forIndifference is creeping up behind meAll I want to do is runMy spirit runs on emptyIt used to wear your nameYour eyes now look one dimensionalHave I lost the flame?Michael if you can read thisI just want to let you know...I don't ever want to be the meThe one that lets goMy battery has run weakAs that sunset gets brighter and closerI'm searching for an off rampCan you help me on my feet?I want my feet to feel that rhythmThe one your smile knew how to directI miss the fire, the hopes and the notionThat somewhere you existThis yearning feels so unfamiliarPlease make it all returnAn ounce of faith I still have within meThe power Of youI yearn
Thanks to all of you. It helps to feel not so alone in this place hovering between doubt and love. The one thing I still do feel is the love. I guess that is the most important, is it not? Without it - all else will crumble. @Lettingitsimmer: Wow that Khalil Gibran line - SO TRUE. THANKS...such opposite ends our feelings carry us...faith can truly be a lonely road...because it's when everything else feels it has abandoned you - it is then your faith remains...although in that lonely space...You know in all my uncertainty..I still can not let go and can not replace the one most steadfast admiration and love of MJ. It's like being able to detect a very faint flavor or scent in the midst of the most confusing concoction in life. But you can still detect it...because you are tuned in to that element.And in this life..MJ is that one element...that can never totally disappear..Sometimes a part of me says ever so quietly, ''it's ok...it's ok if he isn't physically here anymore...why do you fear that by acknowledging it, you will lose him? You can never lose him. He can never be erased. " I think it's time to get some pumping MJ music back into my life. It's been months since I stopped listening to his music each day...time for some tweaking up on that. Get a dose of that MJ medicine in my veins, don't you think? lol.Love you all! So much!!