Off couple of days

  • 5 Replies
  • 563 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bugsy

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 484
    • Show only replies by bugsy

Off couple of days

  • on: June 22, 2012, 04:02:00 AM
My grandfather passed away on the 17th June, one of the few family members who I was close to growing up, he showed me more affection than my own father, he lives in the UK and I haven't seen him in 14 years. it's been a real rocky few days.
Then my ex and his ex joined forces again and between me knocked the last bit of.... i don't even the know the word I should use...
I'm for the first time ever feeling like Michael might have died. Can't even look at a picture of him without feeling hurt. I think it's my granddads passing but doesn't explain the sadness when I look at Michaels images or his music.
I think tonight I'm going to go through everything that's already been found to be hoaxy to remind me to have faith and to feel it.

Just needed to put it here, since the people in my life seems to want to talk about their own feelings of this week and by the time I try and speak they have to go...

« Last Edit: June 22, 2012, 04:04:29 AM by leilani81 »
"One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we'll need a new definition.
"Alvin Toffler

Offline Its her

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 1137
    • Show only replies by Its her

Re: Off couple of days

  • on: June 22, 2012, 05:19:01 AM
My grandfather passed away on the 17th June, one of the few family members who I was close to growing up, he showed me more affection than my own father, he lives in the UK and I haven't seen him in 14 years. it's been a real rocky few days.
Then my ex and his ex joined forces again and between me knocked the last bit of.... i don't even the know the word I should use...
I'm for the first time ever feeling like Michael might have died. Can't even look at a picture of him without feeling hurt. I think it's my granddads passing but doesn't explain the sadness when I look at Michaels images or his music.
I think tonight I'm going to go through everything that's already been found to be hoaxy to remind me to have faith and to feel it.

Just needed to put it here, since the people in my life seems to want to talk about their own feelings of this week and by the time I try and speak they have to go...

leilani81, I'm sorry for your pain, and the passing of your Granddad. I know what you mean; funerals are rough, and it's harder when the loss is REAL close to home in your heart, too, not just in the people you love, who are weeping all around you. Gosh. Everybody is either mad or sad, and can hardly comfort each other.

Try to focus on the good memories you have, and let the others talk themselves out. They'll have time for you when they aren't hurting quite as much. And, I think it will be a better time of sharing and hearing each other, when most of the crying has calmed down. JMO, idk, but I've already had way too many of these in the last four years, and this is the way it has been for me. 

Please just think happy thoughts about him, and cry it all out, and get some rest. If you let yourself get all worn out, EVERYthing will start to look sad to you, when it's really not sad, including MJ, who is very much alive and giving us the ride of a lifetime! :icon_mrgreen:.  You'll see your Grandfather again. He just went on ahead, dear, to a place where you can't call or write him, just now.  :bearhug:

I didn't get to say goodbye to my mother in 2008. A guy called me from her room in the hospital as they were "treating" her. He said she was "gone". They don't know half of what they think they do. When I saw her, I realized she was not 'gone' at all, and a great, smooth calm came over me. I believe this, because I was there. Her body was not her. SHE was somewhere else---just away.

The rest of the living---maybe just one person--- may need YOU more than you need them, Idk, so you have to get good sleep and be strong, to be available or help if you can, or just do it for yourself. I know it can feel lonely, but you are not alone. You can always talk to us, here, if you want. :icon_e_smile: Take it easy.  :bearhug:
ONLY Believe...

Offline hesouttamylife

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 5393
    • Show only replies by hesouttamylife

Re: Off couple of days

  • on: June 22, 2012, 08:08:44 AM
Leilani81 - you will be in my prayers.  Grandparents are special in our hearts.  They are the ones who always give us a soft place to fall when we need one.  And besides they are our parents' parents, so they have the upper hand as our protectors (smiley face w/flowers).  Please take care of yourself.  I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain.  Be careful, have a safe journey, and know that there are hugs and love galore for you from us while you are here, when you are gone, and when ever you return.  (hugs) (hugs) (hugs)
"Don't stop this child, He's the father of man
Don't cross his way, He's part of the plan
I am that child, but so are you
You've just forgotten, Just lost the clue.”

MJ "Magical Child"
Still Rocking my World…
   and leaving me Speechless!

“True goodbyes are the ones never said

Offline marumjj

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • "Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons"
  • Posts: 1027
  • Smile, though your heart will hurt
    • Show only replies by marumjj

Re: Off couple of days

  • on: June 22, 2012, 08:50:38 AM
leilani81, I regret the departure of his grandfather, you receive my condolences. It is very difficult to understand and accept death, but keep your beautiful memories, keep them alive, they never leave your heart. I'm sending all my love and my desire to receive the much needed comfort. Love♥

                                :-*

                   

Offline Loveunited

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 370
    • Show only replies by Loveunited

Re: Off couple of days

  • on: June 22, 2012, 08:57:10 AM
 :bearhug:  Times like these are difficult, I am sorry for you loss(es). Please draw from that place where you know that you are righteously seeing the world through your grief. Grief is a difficult companion, but almost always leads to a stronger future.
Feel the feelings, and know that they will change in time. Meanwhile when you need strenth know that we are all here for one another.
 :bearhug:

Offline bugsy

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 484
    • Show only replies by bugsy

Re: Off couple of days

  • on: June 23, 2012, 03:33:59 AM
Thank you all for your kind words, it really really means a lot, Feeling a lot better than yesterday, it's not all doom and gloom now, the kids made me dance with them on the Wii which picked me up a bit and then I went through the numberology and feelings back to Michael IS live. I will miss my grandfather but you're all right, got to remember all the good times we had, I decided to put a positive spin on him passing away, although he has passed on, he can now come over here and meet his great grandchildren. I read about the soul and how they don't really rest until they have finished their work on the earth and that those who have can prolong their passing until they are wanting to and that's what my grandfather did, on 4th April we were informed by those in the Uk that he was very sick, they said he wouldn't make it past 4 weeks because one kidney had failed and the other was at 6% and dialysis did not work. His liver was failing to, My mother flew out on the 13th April and when she saw my grandad he told he had been waiting for her to come.. he ended up out living their prognosis by a further 6 weeks and 6 days, He became fully aware of every thing and he was eating fine, laughing,teasing the nurses and they were talking about letting him go home, he kept asking my mother when she was going back to Australia, just before she came back he suddenly declined and couldn't move, the day mum got on the plane he fell to sleep and didn't wake up. My aunt 3 days later told him that mum had safely got back home and within the 30 mins he passed away. So i have to concerntrate on that he must have chosen to hold on and that he had chosen when he was going to let go.  He is at peace. The funeral is in 5 days and I wish I could be there, I have ordered flowers that is in the shape of a heart to represent how much i love him but it doesn't feel like i'm honoring him completely. Going to find something really speacial to do on the day of his funeral and organise for my parents to come around, maybe plant a tree.

Again thank you all so much, I think being able to say it out loud witout burdoning my family with my own feelings and thoughts helped release a lot of it.

You're all such wonderful people  :bearhug:
"One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we'll need a new definition.
"Alvin Toffler

 

SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal