Learning to Live With It

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Offline 50th_State_Believer2

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Learning to Live With It

  • on: December 25, 2011, 12:40:48 AM
As Jermaine said in the interview...There is never any closure..you just ''Learn to live with it..."
Michael...there's a dead lock somewhere in my head - my soul. It's no longer is about where you are, if you are out there...or why the world can't accept the fact that you're gone forever...if you are...
It always comes back to that one place, again and again - we still want you back Michael. We can put on a brave front and say ''yes, we need to march forward for justice...'' ''we need to make a change...'' but in reality - that's beginning to feel like just a cover up to help heal the wound that still exists.
2 years have passed Michael...but the underlying need for you to be back, to still exist more than just in our thoughts and memories - that is the painful part that doesn't seem to wash away.  We can say what we want...we can pretend we're okay.  But it will never be okay.  Murray's next chapter in life has already begun. For whatever it is worth to him and his supporters and loved ones - they are already ahead, facing up to the next level of challenges in life. They move forward. They have hopes, dreams, and they live for tomorrow, a new day, a new page.  But without you Michael, we are all still left where you disappeared. Somewhere in the past - a chapter that we've been left to remain in - unfinished, left to heal - heal ... how?  I listen to your voice in your music every day...every day of my life.  And I wonder how it is that your voice, so real - can still be heard, but you are nowhere in our realm.  How can that be? Sometimes I tell myself that you are not out there preparing for a come back...because I don't think you could do this to us...its all too much Michael. How can we be expected to keep feeding ourselves this wild dream that you are watching and listening and reading...and preparing to come back to us?  When each and every moment we die a little more...and it gets harder and harder to even talk about the possibilities.  We still miss you the same Michael. The same as that first moment we watched the news...and shook our heads and said NO WAY...NO WAY....Not Michael....Not Now...Nothing has changed except the key has been lost, and the lock has gotten rustier...The only thing that would set our hearts free...is to either accept the fact that you are gone forever...or for you to come back...RIGHT NOW...no more waiting. No more games. No more hidden signs and messages and maybes and maybe nots...NO more reading between the lines...no more guessing the latest clues or messages from you that we all collaborate to create some kind of mystery to be unfolded soon...No More Michael. We need you back now...it's either that - or nothing. We have to choose...and we have to be given the dose of reality once and for all...


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