CONFESSION

  • 9 Replies
  • 725 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline forevermichael

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 38
    • Show only replies by forevermichael

CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:05:21 PM
Yesterday, I was driving along the freeway, I decided to bring along the J5 Christmas album, since it’s Christmas Season, it’ll be “my soundtrack” until New Year. As the song “Little Drummer Boy” began playing, I suddenly felt a strong pinch in my heart, like as if I was having a heart attack. The pain I felt was indescribable, all I know was that it was overly too painful then I found myself crying uncontrollably, to the point that I have to park  over the emergency parking along expressway, just to burst it out, otherwise I might have had an accident. I have never cried for him that much since June 25. I am a strong believer of this death hoax, however just the thought of losing Michael this soon is killing me.

        As I continued my journey, I occupied my mind of the thoughts of him. I had the opportunity to meet Michael when I was 16 years old, December of 1996, here in Manila, Philippines. Though it was a very brief encounter, it was my dream came true. It was as good as seeing the pope or more than. Now that I am an adult my fascination over Michael never ceases or decline, when some of my colleagues and friends ask me as to why I am a huge fan (they ask coz it’s too obvious) I simply answered “because he is a good singer, dancer, entertainer etc.”  But in reality that is not my reason.

       I browsed the forum today and read some post and I admire MJgirl86 for being bold in expressing her emotions, I wish I can be able to do that as well. I have been keeping this to myself for so long, sort of denying it even to my own understanding but now, after reading some heartwarming posts, I think I have enough courage, please bear with me, for like Michael, I have been bleeding for a long time now.
Why I love Michael Jackson, more than anything that exists? Like Michael, I am an abused child, mentally, verbally and physically from the brutal hands of my father. After every beatings, I retreat to the privacy of my bedroom and like a hermit I licked my own wounds, all I have was his dangerous album tape and a walkman, I played until my eardrum hurts, only then I can feel protection and peace. My Mother was a witness to this sadistic behavior of my father but refused to take action. Often time and again during these encounters with my father, I run to Michael.

       I can completely relate to Michael eccentricities, actually it is not eccentric as the way I viewed it. As an abused child I know, it was difficult to love..to trust..to forgive..and to be happy. Theres always emptiness, doubts and fear. Like Michael, I focused my life in achieving my dreams, though not artistically like him, but him as my inspiration, I can say I am satisfied in my chosen field. I am a lawyer by profession now and though my analytical mind sometimes refuses the audacity of the hoax, I choose to believe. He is Michael Jackson. He touches heart. He changes life, He heals soul therefore he can do the impossible.

Thank You
« Last Edit: December 13, 2009, 11:20:36 PM by forevermichael »

Offline 515angel

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 71
    • Show only replies by 515angel

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:23:24 PM
May God bless you. I'm sorry for all you've been through. :(
 It took alot of courage to tell us about it.
I'm glad Michael and his music helped to get you through so many horrible times.
I'm here because I believe he is alive too.
But please remember even if he isn't, or when he does really pass away, Michael and his music will always be with you to help get you through.
That is his everlasting gift to  all of us. He is an angel and always will be whether here on earth or loving you from the above.

{{{hugs}}}
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline rowdyangel

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 546
    • Show only replies by rowdyangel

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:29:57 PM
Bless you forevermichael.

A truly touching post and very very brave of you to share.

Michael is truly amazing - I wonder how many of us have turned to him and his music during troubled times, when we feel lost, alone and confused.  I know I have many times.

Sending you lots of love my friend

XX
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

"Michael, I am here for you always.  I give you my heart, my soul and I offer you my friendship."

Offline forevermichael

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 38
    • Show only replies by forevermichael

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:36:50 PM
Quote from: "515angel"
May God bless you. I'm sorry for all you've been through. :(
 It took alot of courage to tell us about it.
I'm glad Michael and his music helped to get you through so many horrible times.
I'm here because I believe he is alive too.
But please remember even if he isn't, or when he does really pass away, Michael and his music will always be with you to help get you through.
That is his everlasting gift to  all of us. He is an angel and always will be whether here on earth or loving you from the above.

{{{hugs}}}

thank you, thank you.. I just cant hold back my tears right now. thank you again.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline forevermichael

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 38
    • Show only replies by forevermichael

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:39:22 PM
Quote from: "rowdyangel"
Bless you forevermichael.

A truly touching post and very very brave of you to share.

Michael is truly amazing - I wonder how many of us have turned to him and his music during troubled times, when we feel lost, alone and confused.  I know I have many times.

Sending you lots of love my friend

XX

thank you so much.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

MJLover1990

  • *
  • Guest
    • Show only replies by MJLover1990

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 12:58:42 PM
God bless you forevermichael!

I myself have turned to Michael and his music too when I feel alone, angry, confused, worried, sad etc.
I'm glad he has kept you going and got you through those dark times.
He is so amazing, he truly is sent from above, one of the most wonderful human beings on this earth!

(((hugs)))
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline SPAKKLE29FUL

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 1148
    • Show only replies by SPAKKLE29FUL

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 01:06:17 PM
forevermichael your story touched me i just want to say we here are a family and you never need to keep your feelings to yourself ,share them and we will all try to help you feel better ,my love to you and BAXTER sends a nice lick and woof :)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Soosie Woosie

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 39
    • Show only replies by Soosie Woosie

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 01:14:24 PM
forevermichael

That was so brave of you, to tell us about your childhood, and I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like.  There are a constant stream of adverts on tv these days, trying to show us what life is like for abused children but I doubt any of us can really imagine just what it must be like, unless we have lived through it.  My heart and soul goes out to you - the thought of hurting your own child, knowingly, goes against everything most people believe, but there are people who just don't see things the way we do.  Why?  God only knows - their upbringing, their personality, their beliefs - I really don't know the answer to that.

To be the victim of one of these people, one of the people you most trust and love in the world must be virtually impossible to comprehend, particularly as a small, innocent child.  It is only possibly later, as we grow up and learn from our peers and friends, that we realise our childhood wasn't quite "normal".

My daughter was subjected to severe bullying at school - it wasn't physical, but mentally totally destroying and I JUST DIDN'T SEE IT.  She is one of the most soft, caring and emotional people I know, and to now understand what she went through, breaks my heart.

Crikey, I could go on but I won't :)  

forevermichael - just know that you are as important as every person you pass in the street, every person you talk to, in fact, every person you ever see or meet - no one person is above you, or better than you - and believe that, because it is true.  You didn't deserve in any way what happened to you.

PS - Just realised this was my first post  :o   Been around here, and the "other" forum for as far back as I can remember but never really felt there was much I could contribute to - but this one just got to me

forevermichael - you are a star, wherever you decide to sparkle :P
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Sue

Offline iMISSYOUMJ

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 580
    • Show only replies by iMISSYOUMJ

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 01:33:32 PM
Hey forevermichael,

I'm sorry, I don't know what I can say to encourage you. But, that's so brave of you to share it. I'm sorry for what you've been through. I can see how dark your childhood was, when you said "After every beatings, I retreat to the privacy of my bedroom and like a hermit I licked my own wounds"  :( I'm glad that Michael get you through all this. Hugs for you.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »


I still love him, although he\'s bad, he\'s dangerous & a smooth criminal! 

Stories buried and untold, somebody\'s hiding the truth - Cry

Offline forevermichael

  • *
  • Hoaxer
  • Posts: 38
    • Show only replies by forevermichael

Re: CONFESSION

  • on: December 13, 2009, 07:49:30 PM
Quote from: "Soosie Woosie"
forevermichael

That was so brave of you, to tell us about your childhood, and I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like.  There are a constant stream of adverts on tv these days, trying to show us what life is like for abused children but I doubt any of us can really imagine just what it must be like, unless we have lived through it.  My heart and soul goes out to you - the thought of hurting your own child, knowingly, goes against everything most people believe, but there are people who just don't see things the way we do.  Why?  God only knows - their upbringing, their personality, their beliefs - I really don't know the answer to that.

To be the victim of one of these people, one of the people you most trust and love in the world must be virtually impossible to comprehend, particularly as a small, innocent child.  It is only possibly later, as we grow up and learn from our peers and friends, that we realise our childhood wasn't quite "normal".

My daughter was subjected to severe bullying at school - it wasn't physical, but mentally totally destroying and I JUST DIDN'T SEE IT.  She is one of the most soft, caring and emotional people I know, and to now understand what she went through, breaks my heart.

Crikey, I could go on but I won't :)  

forevermichael - just know that you are as important as every person you pass in the street, every person you talk to, in fact, every person you ever see or meet - no one person is above you, or better than you - and believe that, because it is true.  You didn't deserve in any way what happened to you.

PS - Just realised this was my first post  :o   Been around here, and the "other" forum for as far back as I can remember but never really felt there was much I could contribute to - but this one just got to me

forevermichael - you are a star, wherever you decide to sparkle :P

From the bottom of my heart, I give to you my deepest gratitude. It is hard to open up to close friends cause they will just judge you and pity you and that will be the last thing I will be needing. Your post enlightens me, I was ok, Michael healed me but since his "passing" I was just trying to keep my sanity. As with regards to your daughter, If it is not too much to ask, listen to her,not just hear but truly listen. Thank you for your time. Truly, Michael never fails to love me, someway, somehow thru good people like you.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
8 Replies
321 Views
Last post February 15, 2010, 12:29:01 AM
by TrueBeLIEver1981