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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 02, 2010, 06:41:23 PM
I feel even more angry at how he was treated for the past 10 years than the death sometimes.  I'm really in the middle with the hoax, I don't believe he would do this to his kids and the fans cause he knows how much he means to them.  But if he did do it, it's for a good reason.  I don't know if it's my denial or intuition keeping me numb or what, but I can no longer run in circles trying to figure out why I don't cry all the time like I thought I would cause it's mj, it's like the shock hasn't worn off like I don't want to believe it.  I cry over the death cause society says it happens, but I don't see someone dead when I see him, though sometimes I do, it's like he's full of life.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 02, 2010, 07:26:08 PM
I understand i have felt angry before but NEVER at Michael just that the fact that whatever has happened it had to happen. I think of it like the old saying goes and I'm sure sum1 has posted it already "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" and this is surely what he may have had to do. If it's for his safety reasons you know then i can accept it that way i can't say I'm mad at him because if i had a walk in his shoes for just a day I probably wouldn't even make it i would have done it a long time ago :oops: ! I am more than sure that IF this is a hoax the kids know and are ready for what they have to do in all of this and this shows it :D .
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Sun comes up on this new morning
Shifting shadows, a songbird sings
And if you feel alone, I'll be your shoulder
With a tender touch, you know me so well
Somebody once said, it's the soul that matters
Baby, who can really tell when two hearts belong so well



Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 02, 2010, 09:39:17 PM
It is Ok if you are angry, people react differently to this trying situation.  If that is what it takes to make you feel better, than do it, get it off of your chest, scream if you have to.  Last night I just cried again and I must say I feel better and I am able to go forth again.  My mind and heart has been refreshed and once again I am able to go and jump head first back into all of this madness once again.  My genberal being keeps on saying, I need to know the truth.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 02, 2010, 09:41:33 PM
Quote from: "mumof3"
I am not angry with Michael i am angry at how he was treated


exactly.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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~[size=150]HEAL THE WORLD[/size]~
i march to the beat of MJs drum

Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 02, 2010, 11:27:38 PM
I get angry. I do get angry. Not because of the hoax only, there are other stuffs... I am angry with him real many times. But why do i get angry? Cause i love him. He has the power to make me feel this way. I get so angry sometimes that i even find myself screaming "i hate you Michael!" (yeah i know many are getting mad at me now). I don't know why this happens. I throw away the magazines, photos etc of his. I lock myself up in a dark room and scream and cry, cry out loud. Then again i feel a bit normal and look at his eyes and whisper "i can never hate you, i can never get angry with you, no matter how much i try."... This just happened yesterday. I can't explain it. I just get so irritated and frustrated, desperate sometimes. And i feel guilty. My friend says anger has been always the expression of my love so i should not worry because the one who i get most angry with is Michael, lol.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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[/b]


Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 12:24:57 AM
I have been suffering from this for a long time but I can never hate him though I feel like it sometimes.  A few weeks after the death this was happening and I felt so guilty cause I was like, he was murdered and it's not his fault, I felt angry with him for selfish reasons cause I wanted things my way, the truth is, I was angry at myself for not going out of my way to show him I loved him.  I've been angry for years about the allegations, I used to feel like it was his fault he got accused again but I've let go of that now.  I prayed so hard for this man for those two years of hell and cried so much for him and his kids, it drained me, I got even more depressed, I defended him, I took bullets for him.  I had performed to him and everyone thought I was so cool for it, but one time someone made a boys joke about him that complimented me, I cried all night when I watched the tape on playback though I didn't hear it while up there.  After it was over, I stopped the defending even though I still believed in him cause I was tired.  I wanted my michael back, to come back and kick everyone's ass, maybe we killed him, I wish there was no this is it.  It hurt me so much they did this to him when he hasn't done anything to anyone.  Sometimes I wanted to just back away cause I felt like loving him hurt too much cause I saw my own pain through him and couldn't help it, in a lot of ways, he was like a mirror to me.  But no matter what happened, if anyone called him a child molester or pedophile, my stomach would turn and I would go all quiet shunning them away and end up crying and crying and crying so hard wonder how in the hell anyone can do this to him and call him that, and get so mad that the media helped play a part in it.  I even hate how with all the overexposure michael is getting, I would look at all the images and be reminded of all the name calling, insults, sad feelings etc. from over the years and get mad at these things playing over in my head and tell them to go away, it sickens me that society did this to him and ruined him for me.  I love him so much, he has inspired me so much, helped me learn about myself and I want to tell everyone and kept it up for a long time but it eventually drained me out cause I'm very shy, insecure, too sensitive, defensive and it's almost like being in a relationship sometimes with a cycle.  It's like I'm allowed to get mad at him but if anyone else insults him like that, I hate their guts and lose all respect for them.  When my dad wasn't around, michael's music got me through it, when school sucked, I got so hyper off watching mj and the thought of seeing him someday, it was magical when I was younger and saw clips of him being so sweet to kids, I wanted to be one of those kids, but now I feel like I freaking hate kids and don't trust anyone and I used to love neverland and hate everything about it now cause he almost lost his life despite all the assets.  But I love him so much and always will, and wherever he is, alive or dead, I hope he someday truly knows that and that if I had any hard feelings, it's cause I'm dealing with my own personal demons and too much has happened.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 03:32:03 PM
Nah.. not feelin it.. sorry but ive never been angry at him.

One look in them eyes and my heart melts.

Closest ive ever got was

"DAMN IT MICHAEL WHY DO I HAVE TO LOVE YOU SO FRIGGIN MCUH!!!??!!!!"  :evil:

haa.

 :|
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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"Call the man
Who deals in love beyond repair
He can heal the world
Of hearts in need of care
Shine a light ahead
When the next step is unclear
Call the man
He\'s needed here"

 - I never can say goodbye

Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 03:51:19 PM
His eyes do that to me too, look at him and start crying, wanting to hug him so bad cause I accept him flaws and all.  I could relate to that beyonce song too
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 03:54:16 PM
Quote from: "GreenManMakeAChange"
His eyes do that to me too, look at him and start crying, wanting to hug him so bad cause I accept him flaws and all.  I could relate to that beyonce song too


Ohh yeah... hes human! No human is perfect but hes about as close as youre gona get so live with it! I do!  :D

Only bit i cant live with is him not being around....  :(  :evil:
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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"Call the man
Who deals in love beyond repair
He can heal the world
Of hearts in need of care
Shine a light ahead
When the next step is unclear
Call the man
He\'s needed here"

 - I never can say goodbye

Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 04:23:02 PM
I can't accept him being gone this way either, it really hurts, but feeling hopeful that he's alive is really helping me calm down now.  I have never been down over a human being the way I have with michael and I have never been in love with a human being practically all to myself (close to it) the way I have with michael.  So I know it's all for L.O.V.E. and I was there when things were bad, so it's real love.  And even when I felt angry, the tears would come and I wanted nothing more than to hug him and be with him.  Gosh I sound so obsessed, but no male has made me feel this way, it's going to be hard to find someone to measure up to him when I get mine :)
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 04:30:18 PM
I totally understand where you are coming from. I get angry quite a lot, to be honest, but never at Michael.

* I get mad at the people trashtalking him.
* I get mad at the people still calling him a child molester whilst there is so much evidence proving his innocence
* I get mad at people calling beLIEvers gullible idiots. I know it is a weird concept to think he is alive, but come on, there are so many fishy things going on here!
* I get mad at TMZ, feeding us conflicting stories
* I get mad at the family, feeding us conflicting stories
* I get mad because I don't KNOW, I only think, feel and believe
* I get mad at myself on the tough days when I just can't beLIEve and start thinking he's really gone

And then I realize that IF MJ did hoax his death, he had to do so for serious reasons and he owes me no explanation. And then I get mad again, because there is a possibility I will never get any answers.

Ignorance is bliss, that much I know.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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"Before you judge me
Try hard to love me"


Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 07:28:35 PM
I get mad at the people calling him those horrible things he was accused of THE MOST, that I can not stomach at all
And I get so sick of the family for fucking around with us on things
And the stupid media for twisting things like he was at fault, assholes!
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 07:44:31 PM
Quote from: "GreenManMakeAChange"
I can't accept him being gone this way either, it really hurts, but feeling hopeful that he's alive is really helping me calm down now.  I have never been down over a human being the way I have with michael and I have never been in love with a human being practically all to myself (close to it) the way I have with michael.  So I know it's all for L.O.V.E. and I was there when things were bad, so it's real love.  And even when I felt angry, the tears would come and I wanted nothing more than to hug him and be with him.  Gosh I sound so obsessed, but no male has made me feel this way, it's going to be hard to find someone to measure up to him when I get mine :)

Yes i agree.  

Because i am finding it hard to keep believing at the moment... and i wish i could go back in time and find him and hold him.
If he did take those drugs willingly, i would offer him help..  tough love.  Tell him how it is.  How he doesnt have to use them, that there is a World of love out there for him..  because i dont think he believed that there was this much love for him.  That people accepted him for who he is.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 08:26:40 PM
Do you think he was an addict? He was having trouble sleeping and he was at the hands of a doctor.  It doesn't matter if he wanted them or not, that is not the question.  But I feel you, I wish now that I met him instead of waiting for something like a concert to travel.  I think he already knew he has loyal fans, the trial proved it to him more than anything.

And sometimes I realize it's not michael I'm angry at, but myself for being so hooked cause of all the pain and wishing for it to go away.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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Re: Sometimes Michael makes me soo angry!! :(
March 03, 2010, 08:36:36 PM
@Greenmakeachange..  no i dont believe he was an addict.   I know he was in the past, because he admitted it and went to rehab.

But i dont think he was addicted in 2009...  i think he was chronically tired and an insomniac..  probably due to all the worry and pressure of the concerts... and he was trying to find a way out of that.   I dont know whether he took Propofol willingly or not, or if he knew the risks to it or not...  but i wish i could go back in time and tell him to stay away from any drugs and doctors.
Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Guest
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