5 Insane (but Convincing) Theories About Dead Celebrities

[scorpionchik]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-insane-but-convincing-theories-about-dead-celebrities/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange

Michael Jackson, Master of Postmortem Disguise

Whatever else he may have been, the late Michael Jackson always struck me as a confused and unhappy individual who was thrown into a very extraordinary life at a young age, and never quite figured out what to do with it. That's why it was no surprise to me that there are plenty of theories about him faking his death and moving on to live what in his head probably passed for a normal life.

What was surprising, however, is how many of these theories refuse the "away from the spotlight" angle altogether, and instead use his fake demise as an excuse to make him seem even weirder than he was in his known life.
There's the one that claims Jackson is still occasionally visiting the public eye under the guise of his longtime friend, a facial burn victim called Dave Dave.

Via True Michael Jackson
Feel free to insert your own "I can see the likeness" joke, because I sure as shit am not going to make one.

How about the one about Conrad Murray, the doctor facing heat over Jackson's death, actually being the singer in disguise, despite looking and sounding nothing like him?

"As you can see, they both clearly have eyes and shit."

Or the ones that claim Jackson was present at his own funeral, disguised either as an old man or a blonde lady?

Because the first thing you do after staging your death is grab a wig and waltz into an event that will be seen by millions.

Most of these theories seem to draw from the fact that a few of Jackson's videos -- notably his Thriller zombie look and Ghosts, where he played a middle-aged white dude -- featured him in heavy makeup and prosthetics, which can obviously only mean that the man is both ready and willing to spend the rest of his life in various heavy disguises.

Look, the King of Pop was a great many things, and I get that tons of fans miss him. However, while he did on occasion dabble with prosthetic makeup in his videos, precisely none of said things was "master of disguise." The dude's recognizability was on par with Mickey Mouse's, and although he did on occasion try to hide his face from the public, his attempts at disguise tended to be less Sherlock Holmes and more like, well, this:

[iamhere4mj]

The believers have never been taken seriously and never will unless either Michael comes back or the family speaks up on our behalf.

I have never believed that Michael was/is Murray (although I do think Murray represents Michael in what he says) - the height difference is too much to think this (anywhere from 6 to 8 inches difference). Murray moves too comfortably when he walks so shoe lifts and body prosthetics doesn't seem plausible.

I do believe Michael was Miss Blondie at the Memorial - what better time and place for Michael to be? And in my opinion the only way he could be there would be to be in disguise. And he has dressed up as a woman before so it isn't all that unusual for it to happen.

believe

Love you Michael!

[MJonmind]

As per usual Michael has been completely underestimated. And in fact I believe MJ may be feeding into some of these myths, so that when the time comes for him to blow people minds once  AGAIN, it will be so much greater than anyone expected.

Michael Jackson @michaeljackson  ·  Jan 8 2015
"I love to create magic—to put something together that's so unusual, so unexpected that it blows people's heads off."

[gwynned]

As per usual Michael has been completely underestimated. And in fact I believe MJ may be feeding into some of these myths, so that when the time comes for him to blow people minds once  AGAIN, it will be so much greater than anyone expected.

Michael Jackson @michaeljackson  ·  Jan 8 2015
"I love to create magic—to put something together that's so unusual, so unexpected that it blows people's heads off."

Glad you posted that tweet.   I saw that the other day and thought 'Wow!  Even for Michael Jackson that seems a bit extreme!  Well, I guess we can officially rule out the return of the numerous not dead celebrities on in a kind of We are the Other World TV extravaganza.

Is it me, or do things feel like they are heating up out there with planes getting lost, 'lone gunman' shootings nearly every week, cop killings, innocent black man killings, yet another terrorist attack, blah, blah blah.  But what kind of world wide fear mongering campaign would it be if it did not involve North Korea?  Imagine, hacking SONY in retaliation for a movie with JAMES FRANCO!!! and Seth Rogan.  Interesting too that one of the things disclosed by the hackers was the fact that the revenues from the infamous 'Catalog' were declining and Sony was considering selling their 50% share.  How convenient now for those on the MJ Estate side negotiating a purchase of Sony's 50%.

Wonder what might happen next that would actually blow our heads off?  Something always seems to happen at the Superbowl.