New mods and the forum depression: Should we all take a break?

[~Souza~]

After all the negative stuff happening lately, I have to say something and change some things. I almost closed down the forum if it wasn't for a few members that talked me out of it. I noticed lately that people are all getting a little weary and cranky. Same with me.

(That doesn't mean by the way that I made decisions on the forum recently only because of that. As always, there is a story behind everything and I just sent curls a long reply after she implied that I like to cause drama in public. I don't, I am disgusted by the drama, but sometimes I have to. I have tried to explain curls that you NEVER make the right decision as an admin, and that even though it sometimes looks like an issue comes up on the forum out of the blue, it doesn't mean it's something new that hasn't been playing for months or years already. Anyway, I am not going to discuss that further on here since I want to leave it behind us. Those who are interested can PM me. I told curls that I don't lie and if I can, I will always explain everything to those who will bother to ask me in person, instead of starting to discuss my actions behind my back. So please if ANYTHING is going on, if there are problems either with me or with another member, let me know.)

Anyway, I hope we can all get a little more positive. People told me that my mood as an admin affects people on the board. I hope that's not the case because I have so many problems in real life at the moment, that it's hard for me to keep that smile up constantly. But I saw voice being mad at bec about something I didn't really understand, Gina being hurt by a fellow member that sent her something very hurtful in PM (she didn't want me to address it, but I had to say something about that) and I have talked to many in PM the last couple of weeks who all felt weary, depressed, negative, emotional etc. It's not strange, it has been 35 months and it has been intense. And we're still not there yet. I understand the feeling of doubt and impatience. And I know that I haven't been little miss sunshine either but I want to make it clear that that is NOT because I think Michael won't bam, or because I think Michael is dead. Absolutely not, I still hold the same beliefs as I have been for the last three years. I just don't feel very good at the moment, please take that into account if one of my posts sounds negative. It has nothing to do with the hoax itself.

Anyway, someone suggested (I think it was RK) to close the forum for a few days so we could all take a mini-break. I don't mind, if the majority would think that is a good idea, I can do that. So let me know your thoughts on that.

Then we have the issue with the trolls. That Scream member is someone that shouldn't run into me in the streets, because if there is one thing that REALLY pisses me off, it's when people call me a nazi or a Hitler-lover. My grandfather was captured by the nazi's in WWII and was almost beaten to death, causing brain damage that made him blind for the rest of his life. My country has a history with the Nazi's and I will react stronger against people like that. That means that trolls like that get too much attention they don't deserve, so a solution was needed, because I get the feeling that (like Grace mentioned) more and more trolls will attack in the near future and I want to stay sane. So from now on, we have a new mod-team. I am still waiting for some people to reply, but so far we have:

Andrea
BeTheChange
lilwendy
MaryK
MJonmind
paula-c
RK
wishingstar

Of course bec and Forstamoon are still mods as well.

This is a variety of members. I can not imagine that there are members on here that dislike all of them or think neither of the mods can think for themselves. All of them will have the power to lock threads, delete posts and ban members and I trust every single one of them will be objective enough to make a decision like that. This way it's not just bec and me that make the decisions, but about a quarter of the people that is online on a daily basis will be able to make decisions to keep the board clean. Most of them have been here since the beginning or have shown to be objective. I can't see anyone having a problem with this list.

When the trolls keep coming we need to make sure we have each other's back. Even though there has been a lot of negativity, we should try to support each other like Grace mentioned. And no, we shouldn't always ignore, sometimes we need to fight back. Just not too long, it's not worth the energy.

Last request: please look at the menu on top. There are functions not used by people. The gallery, the news section (please post any article worth a mention there), the downloads for important documents, links if you have useful ones, use the calendar etc. Also, I would like people to ask the blog function more. SimpattyK, you have a lot of posts that belong in the blog section instead of on the forum. Please use it more. Lots of posts are not really posts to discuss and would do fine in the blog section.

Okay, I might have forgotten something, I will add later if I remember. Let's try to keep each other's heads above water and cheer each other up. I almost saw Gema and Gina fighting because of a misunderstanding. As long as we keep talking to each other, we will be fine and make it to the other side. I remember someone having that signature that we shouldn't worry because Michael is our driver and will bring us home safely, but I heard he's an aweful driver, which is maybe why the ride is so bumpy. I might be online a little less the next couple of weeks to deal with stuff in real life. If anyone wants to help out or contribute in any way (by keeping up with the news section for example, or to fill the links page), let me know.

Thanks

[Adi]

Thanks Souza. Good idea having extra mods to help with the workload.

I hope everything will be Ok for you.

[Andrea]

You don't have an easy job Souza and it's perfectly understandable to want to take a break when you need one.  You do an amazing job as our admin but you're right, not everyone is going to like all of your decisions.  I guess that's just the way it is.  You definitely deserve a non-moldy cake at the end of this all!

I don't know if it's necessary to shut the forum down for a few days with all the new mods - we got your back and can keep the house clean if you need a break.  We're here to lift some weight off your shoulders, bec's too.  But it's up to you, perhaps a break for a few days will be good for everyone.  Selfishly, I don't want the forum shut down for any length of time but I'll be fine without it. (although I'll miss it!)

There has been some negativity here lately, I don't feed it but I definitely see it.  This hoax has been a long term commitment for many of us and no BAM yet can be discouraging for some.  I think this is an individual test of faith for everyone.  The hoax is what you make of it and if someone chooses to be negative all the time, then it's not going to be enjoyable experience for them.  I'm generally a positive person so I suppose I've had an easier journey than some.  I don't like fighting or arguing so I avoid that sort of thing, and I've never had problems in PM.  Basically what I'm saying is my perspective of this drama is from the outside, as I've never been directly involved.  I do see it though, it seems to come in waves.

I'll understand and respect whatever you decide Souza.  Take care of yourself and thank you for doing what you do!

[BeTheChange]

Thank you Souza for taking the time to address some issues and for doing it very candidly.  We've often compared this place to a home...and I view Souza as the 'mom' lol...probably because I am a mom myself and I see a lot of similar circumstances/decisions/problems that she has to deal with running the 'house' as I do with my own.  It's a very demanding job...physically, mentally and emotionally...and you're often the one 'working' while everyone else is having fun or causing problems (which then requires a shift in work duties lol).  But you keep on working because you've poured your blood, sweat and tears into it all.  It's also a very thankless job...sure, there are moments of appreciation and sincere gratitude shown to you....but overall, it's not the highest praising job in the world lol.  But you do it anyway...because something inside you tells you it's all worth it.

The 'vibe' lately has shifted in the 'house'....and I do know that some are feeling like perhaps a break is needed.  And if that is the case, then a break should be taken.  It is better to step away from something if it is bringing you negativity....likewise, it's best to step away if the only thing you can bring to something is negativity.  There's nothing wrong with taking a break...for a day, a week, or a month....or even just from a post that is causing you to feel and/or respond in negativity.  I've taken breaks along the way...times when I've felt 'off' and didn't feel like I could add anything positive because I was just so bogged down with other 'stuff'....we ALL have a life outside this forum.  It doesn't even have to be an announced break...although I would worry about some of you if you just stopped coming around without a word.  But I don't think the forum needs to be shut down in order for those that need a break to take one.

As Andrea said...the extra mods will (hopefully) be able to hold down the fort should Souza or bec decide they need a break...now or at any time.  It, most definitely, has not been an easy journey....and we may still have several months ahead of us before we reach that destination.  Let's try to help each other get there with as few 'bumps' as possible...while not losing sight of what got us to where we are right now.

With L.O.V.E. always.

[bec]

Don't close.

If anyone needs a break they need to be woman or man enough to determine that for themselves. Those who don't need a break don't need one imposed upon them. Self responsibility, we can all muster it. We are a good group.

[Adi]

Souza you have done an amazing job here, for a very long time too, and it is BY FAR the most informative and interesting hoax forum there is available. However, I can appreciate you needing to take a break. With the increase in moderator numbers there are enough people here to deal with the a*seholes whose seemingly only function is to initiate chaos.

I know there are times I don't want to be here so I stay well away. As adults we should all be able to make that call when we feel something is bringing us down.

Agree, I think the Forum should stay open.

[RK]

Actually, it was me who said a hoax- detox  could be possibly a good thing for many of us, but finished the sentence with I hope you decide not to do it. So even I am against shutting the forum to read only for a few days.  I thought I could sense that Souza was pretty much exhausted, [ seems I wasn't too far off the mark as she said she nearly shut down]...The mini break was an idea  to take the pressure down.....I had pictures of us all walking out into the sunshine and fresh air and snapping out of whatever angst and negativity that was going on at the time by the change of environment. So, yes, Bec, I think we [ meaning those who need to]  can all be mature enough to at least balance our lives better. Lets be honest...it's not been an easy gig to keep work, family, house and garden, and friends + hoax land going in this 3 year long juggling act. Tired people can be vulnerable to emotional outbursts.
With all the new mods, I hope things will be easier with the upkeep of our house. Many hands make light work my Mum used to say.  And yes...we will do our best to stay  more positive.

[GINAFELICIA]

Hi. I vote for the site to remain open.

[Grace]

Thank you Souza for your excellent choice of mods and as bec said, everyone is mature enough to decide to take a break or not when the hoax is impacting real life. Thanks to all new mods for stepping in and helping us!

I am absolutely convinced we will make it and everything will turn out fine.

Maybe we can try to drink a cup of tea before replying to a post that clicks our emotional buttons and use PM more often when we need to address a subject to only one person.

I really don't think we need to close the forum. It is our time to shine and we can do that.

Best wishes to you, Souza, and a truckload of thank you for your dedication and never ending contributions.

This goes to everybody here, especially the weary:

:bearhug:

[MJonmind]

My hat is off to you Souza, for taking on such a humongous project for almost 3 years! :th_bravo:
I really do wish you the relaxation, health, and time to take care of matters in your personal life. God's blessings on you and yours!
I really believe what you're doing may be of epic importance for MJ and for the world, who knows exactly!

I naturally don't want the forum to be closed for breaks, but if sometime down the road you decide it's best, then my suggestion would be perhaps that it would be well announced ahead of time so people who have been away for a week or to aren't caught off guard and panic. Perhaps if the forum was closed for 3 or 4 days every few weeks or month on a regular schedule, so we know ahead of time and everyone is confident things will be okay.  The worst thing for me has been the times in the past when there were sudden crashes and huge unexpected changes. It caused me a lot of stress so I couldn't even enjoy doing all the other things I needed to do in life--I was so worried that it was the end.  Well those are some of my thoughts.  I don't stress too much about fighting on the forum, since I generally try to back away from that, if it gets too hot.  The only time I'm really sad is when members that I appreciate, get into a spat with someone and leave. Oh and also it really frosts me when people are attacking and slandering you Souza. :icon_evil: We here will be your defenders. This is our online home all together!  :beerchug:

[Ijustcantstoplovingu]

This is a long and sometimes weary path we are on, as we journey towards the truth with all its twists and turns!  We have been on this road approaching 3 year now, if individual members need to take a break to recharge their batteries that is a good thing, but its up to the individual to make their own decision and step away from the keyboard  :Crash:

I personally really appreciate that this forum is available, and the time and effort and committment it must take to keep it running, it must be draining at times.  I hope that with the extra mods will give you more time and space to deal with your own life challenges Souza and I truly hope that you will soon be feeling less pressured.

Although I dont post much these days on the forum, I do read daily and continue my research.

With love and respect to you, it carnt have been easy for you on this journey, but be assurred we have your back!

:bearhug: :bearhug:   :th_bravo:

[lilwendy]

I think it's been said already, but I'll say it again: we do appreciate all you do Souza (and all the mods) and I think more mods is definitely going to help.

Looking forward to a more positive board for all!

[2good2btrue]

Just sending my L.O.V.E to all.....and letting you know that I am still here too but don't have enough time to help out with the forum at the moment...

Souza, I admire your courage and hard work.  I would have never been able to do what you have done.

This place has been my 2nd family for nearly 3 years now...I can assure you...it's not going away.

We may never know how, when or why Michael had to hoax his death.......but I'm sure all of us here have a common goal.

We will continue this adventure TOGETHER...God bless to you Souza and enjoy your time away.  I will be thinking of you and praying that everything will be ok in your personal life..
:'( :'( :'(

[SimPattyK]

[...]SimpattyK, you have a lot of posts that belong in the blog section instead of on the forum. Please use it more. [....]

Ok Souza.
Stupid me, now I finally understood what was the blog created for.
I won't be bothering you here on the forum, promise.

[sandythyme]

Souza you already know how I feel about you.....how could you forget my long winded PM :)  It's been a long 3 years, everyone is just tired.  Bec you said it best, if anyone needs a break let them determine this on their own.  I think the extra help with the new mods is a great idea.  All REALLY great people!  Souza, I hope life goes smoother for you here and home.  You deserve only the best :bearhug: