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When I looked up analagesia it says morphine and opiates. I just assumed that was a little hardcore for 1993. There would have been no need for morphine in 1993 would there. Karen Faye said she didn't think there was a drug problem from the pepsi accident. The only issue from the deposition in Mexico was a sore tooth and he performed the tour until they cancelled it so what kind of physical pain would he have been in back then? Do I have it right...morphine is for physical pain and there are other drugs for emotional pain?
I'm not comfortable with talking about my own private matters, but I think my experience could spread some light to this issue. (If self-harm is triggering to anyone here, don't read)Somebody already mentioned that addiction and dependency are two different things. I've never thought about it, but it makes perfect sense. See my mother has an alcohol problem. Opposite to what you might think, she does not enjoy the taste of alcohol nor does she intentionally want to get drunk. She's drinks every single day (but rarely gets drunk), because without - she just couldn't get through the day. Gosh, I hate talking about it...She used to suffer from depression and she's been a nervous wreck ever since. She's a very anxious person and she's dependent to alcohol in a sense that it relaxes her, simply gives her courage. But sometimes she indeed looses it and goes too far and frankly it has gotten me into humiliating situations. And now my own story. When I was a young child (maybe a pre-teen) I discovered a very unhealthy way of coping - self-harm. It was just a phaze at first and I stopped after awhile. But years later, I went through a lot of confusing, even traumatic experiences and I needed a way to escape from all of it. One day, my cat scratched me while I played with her and I knew I had taken a trip back to my childhood. Just having the scratch alone reminded me how it felt like to be in control of your own pain. Before I realized I was self-harming again. It went worse and worse. I knew I had a problem, but I thought that "hey, if that's what helps me, then be it - it's perfectly fine until no one finds out." It was kind of like some people keep their baby blankets or favorite childhood stuffed animals - in the back of your head you're aware that people might think you're a huge baby, but you need that comfort and you'll keep those items anyway, even if you have to keep them hidden in your closet so no one would know.(I don't do that anymore)I think this is what might of happened with Michael. He got dependent on painkillers, maybe not for the effect, but for the comfort of just knowing that when you're in pain, you take a painkiller and you'll be fine. It offered him the comfort that he was looking for. And later years, he might of relapsed because he might of remembered how he used to turn to medications for 'help'.
I also apologize if my story was too personal, I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from with my views on MJ's addiction/dependency.
Quote from: "Sangre"I also apologize if my story was too personal, I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from with my views on MJ's addiction/dependency.No need to apologize, every household has their own secrets. What you have done took courage and it is the first step to recovery. I studied psychology and it is very hard for a person to talk about her or his secrets, but you did it. May God bless you, and protect all your family,
Sangre, please don't feel stigmatised by it. IMO and experience, many, if not all, of these addictive/obsessive things are biochemical. They are not your fault. And I doubt whether many of us are without 'skeletons in our closets'. With L.O.V.E.