If any of you on here have read my posts in the last while, you will know that I am very Passionate, when it comes to love and spreading Michaels message to the world. I know this post is not all about Michael, but I am hoping if I share with you a little about how I became so passionate on the subject of love, that maybe others will share their "love stories" and maybe some of you will "reflect" on what I say and then maybe they too can look in their hearts and change the way they view love...and the power that it can have if you truly embrace it. I am opening my heart and soul and though some of this is hard to share with complete strangers, I feel that this is the one site that I can share it with, because Michael is Love and we truly are "family" here, we were brought together because of love.
Ever since I was a little girl, for as long as I can remember, I have been a strong believer in love. It was just who I was and who I am today, nothing else mattered to me and although I didn't know why at the time , somewhere deep in my heart I knew that I was suppose to spread love to people...today, I have finally come to the realization that spreading Love truly is My "calling" in life.
Like Michael...I had to grow up way before my time... You see I was sexually abused as a child. Here I was, this child who truly believed in love, yet I was suffering something, no one should have to experience, yet alone a child. I couldn't understand how, when all I wanted was to be "loved", that I could be violated in such a way. I kept my "secret" to my self, until the age of 17, when I finally spoke up and told my parents what had been happening to me on and off since,... well, as long as I could remember. In those days, abuse wasn't talked about the way it is today. We confronted the rest of the family and unfortunately, the end result was that my immediate family was basically thrown out of the rest of the family. They chose to stand by my uncle, and just kicked us out! I was devastated and felt that it was my fault, but life continued. Even though i suffered this way, I never, ever, lost my passion for love. I continued doing what I could in my own little way to help others and spread my love. I was the most sought after babysitter in my town, because everyone knew how much I loved children. I started doing volunteer work at the hospital and nursing home, feeding the elderly, after school and on weekends,( when I wasn't working...which I also started at age 9 in our family shoe store) I spent so much time, just trying to make a difference in my own little way. I knew that I was suppose to help others, it was truly something that was just "in me".
Anyway, I also just couldn't wait to get married and have a family of my own, I knew that my children would grow up knowing that they were truly loved. I knew that I would protect them with every ounce of my being, so they wouldn't have to suffer the way I did. Unfortunately, they did suffer. You see I got pregnant 2 weeks after high school and was basically forced into marriage on my 18th birthday. Don't get me wrong, I was in love, but I was about to find out that, My husband wasn't who I thought he was. The only family I had left, moved across the country while I was pregnant with my first child and now , I only had my husband...but he loved me so I thought everything would be ok. I was wrong. The beatings started literally 2 weeks before I was due to give birth.
In short, my life went on a downward spiral from that point, he left, when my daughter was 2 weeks old, showed up at my door drunk when she was 2 months old, raped me and got me pregnant with my second child and well from there I ended up having 2 more failed marriages and 2 more children...but still I didn't give up hope, I couldn't, because I just knew that somewhere out there, was the man that I was destined to spend the rest of my life with. So I perseveered...I knew that in the end, everything would work out.
What happened next, was something that you only hear about in the movies, but this really happened to me. Back in 1995/96 I met a man, who in the beginning, was just a sweet person. His grandma and my grandma were best friends and at that time I was looking after my grandma,( from my dad's side) my only family member left in my town. She was elderly and had suffered a massive stroke and she couldn't walk or talk anymore, and I was the only one around to look after her, which I did with pleasure...she was a great lady..rest her soul.
Anyway, this man offered me rides to help me look after her, but in the end, this person became my "stalker". He made an advance on me one day and when I declined, well he turned into this monster...there is soo much more to this story, but the details don't matter. What happened next was something I never could have imagined. In 1997, the police thought it was safer if I moved away, so I literally, overnight had to Pack up some bags,take my 4 children and we were put on a plane and we moved across the country and started our new life. I had to leave everything I owned behind and start over, which was ok, because in the end, this guy, this stalker who had beat me among other things, ended up getting off the charges on a technicality...get this...they didn't have his proper name on the court papers, so he walked!!!!!! That's the Justice system for you!!!
I did get some form of "justice" when it came to the abuse I suffered as a child. Almost 2 years ago, my uncle suffered a major heart attack while he was driving home from work, His truck veered across the road and he crashed into the doors of the Catholic church!!!!he was killed instantly. At times I feel guilty for this, because I do remember times as a child praying, asking God why my uncle got to live such a great life with my family, while I had to suffer. In the end I believe God's hands were involved with this accident, because I truly believe everything happens for a reason...good or bad...I really believe in this and I will tell you why.
Even through all these adversities I had endured in my short lifetime...I had one thing on my side... I believed in LOVE and it's immense power. I have never given up on love...I couldn't, it is just who I am...plain and simple.
The story gets better from here, this is the reason I am opening my heart to you all. I settled into my new life, here on the west coast, it was hard because I didn't know anybody, I only had my children, but I knew everything was going to be ok now, because we didn't have to live in fear anymore.Thankfully, The man who stalked me, never found me and the last I heard he was dying from cancer. I have only returned back to my hometown once in the last 14 years and was only there for a day, because this guy was still there somewhere and that has been very hard, because I really miss my friends and since moving out here,I have yet to make any really true friends. ok sorry, I digress.
On July 3rd 1997, I had this immense feeling come over me that told me to go down to the beach, so I followed that feeling and well that day has changed my life forever. You see, when I got to the beach, as I sat on the grass, there was a man lying a few feet beside me. during the next hour or so, he kept walking by me, and I felt drawn to this man and as he passed by me once more, he stopped and said "do I know you?' I remember that I just spewed out "no, but I would like to get to know you" After I said that I couldn't believe, that had just came out of my mouth, but it was "fate". We started talking and when he removed his sunglasses and our eyes locked...I just knew those eyes, I had seen them before in a re-occuring dream that I had had for years! I swear to you this is true...I can't explain it, but as I have said before, that I believe in Fate and I believe in Love and I believe that everything happens for a reason, from the bottom of my heart.
He immediately asked me to go out that night and he invited my children to come also,I just knew, in my heart that this is the man I had been waiting to share my life and love with...I knew that he was my "soul mate" right from the moment I looked into his eyes. The great part is that he felt the same way, we were destined to be together on this journey called life. So, that night when he took my hand for the first time we literally felt a spark. when our hands touched, we just looked at each other and well, he came home with me that night and moved in... just like that. 2 days later he asked me to marry him, I said yes and we were married exactly one month later, on the exact spot where we met at the beach, at the exact time that we had first met. We will be celebrating our 13th anniversary on August 5th.
We had some rough times in the beginning, because we really didn't know everything about each other, but we knew that we were meant to be together and that in time everything would work out.
I soon found out that my husband had also suffered as a child and in truth he was "jaded" when it came to truly believing in love. He knew we were meant to be together, but he wasn't sure that he really believed in love. At this time I knew why I was sent to this earth...I was put on this earth to teach about love. Over the next few years,slowly, my husband began to believe in love and how powerful it can truly be. It made me feel good to know that my life finally had come to a point where I could do something really good with the love I felt in my heart. I taught my husband to really believe in love and that is such a wonderful powerful feeling. Having the ability to change someones life in such a way, made me realize that,I had to endure all the heartaches in the past so that I could truly, understand what my purpose in life was.
Love is a gift that you can teach to others, when the person is open and receptive to the idea of love. I have been so blessed to always feel this power when it comes to love, it has kept me alive and kicking. it has brought me heartache, but in the end it brought me the man of my dreams and I will be eteranally grateful, that God gifted me with this blessing. My husband now loves with an open heart and an open mind.He makes me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world every day. Not a day goes by that we don't sit and talk about how lucky we are to have love in our lives, Communication is soooo important when it comes to love and relationships. The thing that makes me sad is that people think that we are "strange" because we are so in love after all this time. We really don't have any other friends, because of this and that just boggles my mind.
Why is it that society today is based on everything negative? Why do people think you are not "normal" if you believe in something as wonderful as love? It makes me sad that I don't see couples holding hands, when they walk together. I always hold my husbands hand, we always say I love you to each other. We appreciate each other. Everyone is so "mechanical" these days. We live in a world where we don't "talk" to each other anymore. Our children sit in front of the tv playing video games instead of instead of playing outside, so many families don't even sit and eat together anymore...This makes me sad.
I am writing this because, I feel like I was brought to this site for a reason. I have always felt my life was "similar" to Michael's. Although the circumstances may have been different, we share these facts.We both had our childhoods ripped from us, we have both endured many hardships and heartaches throughout our lives, We have both been "wronged" by the Judicial system, we have both known what it is like to fear for our lives...and more. But the most important thing that I have in common with Michael, is that we both know that we were put on this earth to spread love, to get people to look within their hearts, to all the possibilities that understanding and believing in love, can bring you. I am living proof that LOVE Overcomes Virtually Everything. We need to help the world to bring back love into our lives. We need to stop just "existing" and we need to start "living" again. Love is all about "energy", positive energy. Its about changing the way we think. Negativity attracts negativity, but if you just open your minds and your hearts you really can achieve ultimate love, peace and understanding.
Michael and I have both know pain and suffering, the likes that no one should endure, so if anyone should be jaded when it comes to love it should be us! All I can say is that there is Power in Love! Everyone has the ability to look within and build on that power, to build that love...you just need to start within, as Michael has said so often,,,we need to start with the man in the mirror, we need to make that change.
I feel so many on this forum have lost touch with the purpose of us being here.Michael believes that if we all join together and use our hearts, by sharing information with others, that we can live in a world, where we can bring back love...we can bring back Peace...I just don't understand, how we can let this great opportunity pass us by. I know that change is happening right now in this world and it is up to us to decide what kind of change we want that to be. We do have a voice here and if it wasn't for Michael, we wouldn't have that choice, but it is up to US.
My whole point of this post is to give hope to those who may read this and see a little of their own lives in my words. If I help make just one person stand up and take notice then it was worth opening my heart and bearing my soul for all to see.
I could be sitting here wallowing in self pity because of what I have to endure over the years, but I won't do that, I can't do that.the reason being is that I know that Love has gotten me through all these times. i know that it was Michael's energy, that drew my heart to be on this mission with him...the heart never lies, my friends...It really is all about LOVE. Please lets do this, lets bring love and hope back, we can be a part of history here folks...Just sit back and think about the big picture here, I really don't think most people understand what a truly amazing opportunity Michael has brought to us. personally, I will be eternally grateful for knowing that there is a another human being on this planet that really understands, what is in my own heart. I will do whatever I can to bring awareness and love back into this world. Because of Michael and his understanding of love...i now feel like I know my true calling...thank you my friend, i will never let you down.
I hope others will open up and tell us how love has affected their own lives.We all say we are here because we love Michael, But are you really doing your part in spreading his message? Love is such a wonderful feeling my friends, lets do this for Michael and for yourselves, bring more love to your life...you won't be sorry.
Thanks for listening.