Michael, I apologise for the length of this, but I just need to get this out.
The night I heard you died will haunt me forever. It was just an ordianry night. Well, maybe not so ordinary. You know a boy in my younger sisters class died that day too. He was only 10.
So I was already upset. I'm going to be brutally honest here, but I was never a fan of yours.I grew up in a time when people were mocking you and saying all things about you. I suppose I joined in so as not to be left out. Yes Michael, that's how pathetic I was. Making fun of you. Laughing when anyone said you were innocent. I am so sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I basically believed every word the stupid media said about you. Swallowed it whole. I feel so disgusted with myself. So back to The Night as I call it. It was late, around half 10. The international news had just come on and guess what was up first? Michael Jackson has been rushed to hospital. It is reported that the star wasn't breathing. I watched in shock. I won't even type the words I said. That's how disgusted I am with myself. I went to bed that night, not thinking or worrying about anything. I didn't watch anything about you after that as it was irrelevant to me.
But then on Friday, it was all over the news that they were preapring for your memorial. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Michael Jackson, the greatest showman on Earth, was dead. That's when I found out the doctor had gone missing. I was still convinced you were dead, so I put it down to that he was scared. I don't know what the turning point was for me, but suddenly I missed you. Missed you more than anything. My heart was breaking up into little tiny pieces. The pain I felt was indescribable. I started Googiling you that weekend. Watching interview after interview. Then I was thinking, how could they do that to such a kind man? I couldn't believe I used to be one of them. Suddenly I loved you so much I couldn't even put it into words. My family couldn't understand how I had gone from not liking you to suddenly loving you. My family aren't your biggest fans Michael but they were saddened by your death. I had just finished school for the summer. All the exams over. I was looking forward to relaxing. But for some reason I couldn't stop crying. Crying for someone I hadn't even known. I'd sob quielty to myself at night. Praying no one would hear me.
But then in mid-July I was on the internet, Googiling you again, when I just got the urge to type in Michael Jackson Alive. The pages that came up was unbelievable. That's how I found MJHD. That's how I found all theses wonderful people who have completely changed my life. And that's how I found you Michael. The real you. The kind, gentle, genuine, down-to-earth angel that you are. I've also learnt to not believe everything the media throws at me and that it's ok to be skeptical sometimes. So thank you Michael. Thank you for opening my eyes to the world, just thank you for being you. And if you are reading this one solid sign is all I ask. The past 5 months have been the most emotional, draining, exhausting, exciting months of my life and I've learnt alot, but please just give us a solid sign.
All my love and prayers
x
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