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Messages - 50thstatebeliever
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31
« on: April 13, 2010, 03:22:12 AM »
I think "truth" can be anything you perceive/choose for it to be. Some people have chosen to believe he really has died - to them, that is the truth. They may also believe in a certain theory of how and why he died - that again, is the truth to them. So it depends on your own choice in your mind. Something like this could go on and on for decades. Look at Marilyn Monroe and Elvis for example - there are people who believe Marilyn is alive, an old woman living on the island of Lanai in the state of Hawaii...they say they caught a glimpse of her and called out her name and she almost brought her hand up to wave - this was on a remote island, under populated - unlike the capital of the state, Honolulu. A man who was with her, supposedly grabbed her hand and stopped her from waving back. Who knows? It's all about what you believe, that will be your own truth. Some people believe Elvis is still alive, and in a wheel chair - living a secret life - supposedly a photo - a blurry one at that - was taken and used as proof of the King of Rock n Roll being alive...so many theories for so many people who supposedly died of a drug overdose...
32
« on: April 13, 2010, 12:55:14 AM »
Thanks for your advice. I was a bit taken aback when you said "Please don't bother Janet"...I felt it was a bit condescending in tone...like a parent speaking to a child who doesn't know any better...or a guardian of Janet, telling me to leave her alone...I'm sorry if I took it wrong, but that's what it read like.
The 'truth' is always a perspective - until it is admitted by the source...even in a system of law, people often in the past have been persecuted and imprisoned, even sentenced to death, according to 'the truth' that jailed them in the first place - only later to be found innocent through further investigation and reopening of the case. I don't expect Janet to tell me the truth - I just want to see her reaction, so that I can make my own decision based on what I observe, that was all I meant. Peace..
33
« on: April 13, 2010, 12:45:28 AM »
LOL what the?! At first I thought it was a female fan - hey - who knows, there may be fans out there, even female, who get themselves done to look like Michael. It's a nice pic though - but I still think Michael's dark hair color etc..has more 'edge'...
34
« on: April 13, 2010, 12:25:58 AM »
Ok everyone...this may not be relevant to many of you - I don't know - or maybe it might be...but I NEED TO EMAIL and make sure it reaches Janet. Can anyone tell me where to write to her? And please don't suggest her Facebook account because she has not been in there to state anything for a really long time - it might as well be closed down. The reason I'm asking, is because I trust her reaction/answer and I trust her character...and I just want to ask her why can't she just help some of us out a bit - and TELL US STRAIGHT what her opinion on the hoax theory is? I want to know - what her reaction is, what her comment is - it would help me take my next step in handling everything that is going on inside me. I know it's important to carry on justice for Michael, but at the same time, it's just not making sense that only Latoya has mentioned her disbelief in the hoax theory. If I were really hurting as badly as Janet is, I'd be in the camera telling everyone to please stop carrying on like this because it makes it so much harder to accept the fact that he is gone, and to carry on working for his legacy and justice...I'd be telling Michael's fans world wide, that we need to let the desire of wanting Michael alive, to rest - let it go - so that we can all work harder on bringing his wishes to reality...That is what I'd be saying if I were her...I want to know why it's so hard for Janet or anyone else in her family (aside from Latoya) to ask us to stop wasting time with the hoax theory...why?
35
« on: April 13, 2010, 12:02:00 AM »
I think sometimes anger tries to take the place of pain/sorrow - because we have so much couped up anxiety inside over MJ - that it all gathers up and has no place to go but in the direction of anger. We can't direct it to anyone else, so we just get angry at the fact that we WANT something to happen - but are still waiting...
Yesterday I went back to exercising - I had let it go for two weeks, because I was beginning to lose hope. But yesterday I thought - what did Michael represent? Did he represent negativity? No. Did he represent depression? No. Did he represent giving up? No...He represented happiness and love, no matter what tried to pull him down. He represented STRENGTH MAN!!! STRENGTH!!! I can't think of anyone THAT strong, that could live throughout all the crap that kept coming at him!!! So in the energy of Michael, I said I had to continue living positively - until June, maybe July, maybe even August comes around...whether or not we find out he is alive and well, or nothing happens and nothing is heard or seen...we still have to live positively, because that is what he represented. Even if God forbid, the day comes that we all realize he is actually gone, and the hoax theory does not hold - we still have to go on and live and be just like him - who we admire and love so much. It would BE IN VAIN IF WE LIVE DEFEATED...what worth would Michael's life be, if we all just threw our hands up and said "I can't live anymore..."?? All the songs, all the messages, all the peace signs and "I love you"s that he sent out would be in vain - it would mean nothing if we ended up defeated. We have to live and prosper and send down his legacy and message and life story to the next generation and the next, and prove that his fans are exactly the positive examples that came out of his LIFE!!! If you ever forget him for good - what would his life mean? It would have been for nothing...you can't forget him for ever...You have to keep him alive in your purpose in spreading good and spreading positivity...That's what he was placed here on earth for - if he comes back, WOW...what a day it will be...down in history...but if he doesn't, WE STILL HAVE TO LET HIS SPIRIT LIVE through US!!!
36
« on: April 12, 2010, 02:15:30 AM »
I forgot to add something on the lighter side...a friend of mine had a dream the other week about MJ. She said I should post it on here. She said in her dream, she and MJ were friends, just walking around and then decided to go hang out elsewhere indoors - and MJ said they should go hang out at his place.
Next scene in her dream, she was just sitting and watching MJ sleeping soundly. He awoke, and he then told her that it was such a great sleep - that he hadn't slept like that in a LOOOONNNG time, and that he appreciated her being there, as whenever she is there, he is able to sleep well.
That was the end.
To me it sounds pretty parallel to the hoax theory. He's gone - out of our sight, out of the media's eye. But he is only 'sleeping'...'resting'...not really sleeping, but sleeping as in taking care of things out of the world and life he escaped from. Recouperating...getting better...and the part where he says he appreciates her being there, as he got his much needed time to rest well...that sounds like us - those that support him, that believe in the time that has to pass in order for him to get things done and then return...the only way he can feel rest assured is if he believes we are holding on tight to the signs and anticipating his return in the most faithful way we can. If he views the world falling apart and his support diminishing...how can that be at all support for him to continue his preparation for his return?
Or am I just rambling on in high hopes...built in the clouds? Sigh..I think I need to take a break from this.
37
« on: April 12, 2010, 01:58:35 AM »
Thank you Souza...we need the strength, the words...and I suppose I will keep walking forward, although my head is hung downwards...I have hardly the ability to see clearly the path - because the tears in my eyes blurr my footsteps toward the hopeful day that MJ smiles again to the world. Sometimes I don't even like watching him or seeing his pics anymore - kinda like how Janet expressed on Oprah...it becomes more of a taunting pain in my heart, like someone hanging something in my face and saying 'you can't have it'...it's gone.
I have two teenage boys of my own, and I live each day doing what I have to do, making them smile, being the best mom I can be. And they don't even know the sorrow I carry in my heart for a legend they barely know that symbolized so much to me. Maybe that is my problem - the symbolism, and the fact that MJ being the symbolism to so many things, to so many people, to me - and without that symbolism it's as though life has a huge empty pocket that can't be filled up again. But I know the symbolism, what MJ stood for and still stands for, has to be kept alive by our own lives, by how we live and what we do and what we fight for. I guess that's the only thing that is fueling me now regarding anything MJ. When I breathe, my breath is heavy, when I look out at the world, I see an incomplete world. The numbers on the calendar, the dates...seem like a zillion years until the hopeful day...like sand dunes, after sand dunes, with no particular direction...either my resistance to truth and facts are so strong and cannot be erased, although in it's weakened state - or I'm plain stupid. To seek the truth, one has only to look inside themselves - that is what I have always heard...and I suppose it is true - as the truth is merely a perspective, a choice one makes to decipher which road to take in life. SO what is my truth, my perspective? The only truth I can say is tangible, is real to me, is my pain. I miss our symbol. Our MJ. That is the only real thing to me now. Because that is the only thing that I can prove, and is inside me. My pain. My missing our symbol...MJ...we want to hang on forever if we have to...but do you really think we can? Want to and can...are two different things MJ...hurry up and come back...or else the other half of the world will be right - and we'll all be wrong...they'll then say "See, you guys were insane. He's gone." Please hurry back Michael. The flame is trying to stay alive, but it's hard ...
38
« on: April 11, 2010, 05:21:46 AM »
I know what you mean, exactly. I'm the same. Lingering somewhere between holding on very hard to believing - and then being overwhelmed by alot of negatives that seem to be slowly taking place of the postive. Seeing Janet on Oprah...Janet - that I respect and do believe - whereas I don't believe or trust Latoya...but seeing Janet so sad...and still not able to hear Michael's music or see his pics or even attempt to watch TII...it made me wonder...are we so in denial, so in denial that we will forever refuse to believe the truth that Michael is gone? Are we just holding on because we just want him alive? Regardless of the truth that he is really gone? But then I think, if the hoax is not real, why won't Janet say so, like how Latoya said so in the French TV interview? Why won't Janet say outright, "You guys, we know you love Michael, but you have to believe me, let it go...let him rest in peace." Why won't she say that? Does it mean the hoax is real? back and forth back and forth..some days I'm stronger..other days I'm not. I was fine for a while - kept doing what I had to do each day, then today, out of the blue, on the radio, was Nat King Cole's version of "SMILE"...and then I walked to the window in my room and looked out...and I felt as though the truth was speaking to me, like Michael was saying, "let me go...let me go..don't do this to my spirit...I'm at a happier place." and I was sooo sad...because something in me said he's gone...stop torturing yourself and hanging on to wishful thinking...
But even still, there is an ounce of hope left inside me. I want June to come and go...then maybe I'll think differently..or maybe not...maybe I'll still be just as lost...
Michael...if all our thoughts of you could bring you to us - you'd have been back from the first day. You have no idea what you've done to the world...by disappearing...
39
« on: April 11, 2010, 04:54:52 AM »
I'm sorry for anyone who likes Latoya. But she comes across as someone who would sell her soul for her own convenience. I don't care how much IN CONTROL her manager had over her - you don't go lieing about your brother being a PEDOPHILE especially if you supposedly LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Pressure Latoya? yeah right. Pressure. Ever think today about the freaking pressure you placed on your own brother by doing what you did? You were able to wipe your slate clean by claiming you were sorry, and that your manager coerced you into it. And you can now claim that MJ KNEW you loved him and you'd never mean to do him any harm that way. Well look what you've done. And you can smile on tv about it? Like it's all okay now. Some things in life are easier to forgive. Some things are not. What you did to your own brother who never did anything to you - is something you cannot retract. Damage done. How can you smile like that about it? Was it just a broken vase to Michael? Something that can just be bought and replaced in his life? Best friends don't even do things like that - gimme a break. The word OPPORTUNIST is written all over your forehead and gleams in your eyes.
40
« on: April 11, 2010, 04:32:15 AM »
Raven, I just want to mention something - as you have placed a photo of MJ sleeping with his eyes closed. One of my sons sleeps with his eyes open. But 1) not instantly when he goes to sleep right away - it's only during the period when he begins to fall into a deeper level of sleep that it happens. 2) when I say sleep with eyes open - it doesn't mean eyes WIDE open as though you are wide awake. The eye lids are going to be slightly ajar -but not like how they would be when awake and concious of what you're doing - like reading, watching tv, talking to someone etc...
So the photo of MJ sleeping with his eyes shut doesn't necessarily mean he did NOT ever sleep with his eyes partially open. If I go in and see my son after about 1 1/2 to 2 hours after he has closed his eyes to go to sleep, his eyes will have opened slightly. It's creepy to look at, but it's normal to many people. 
41
« on: March 31, 2010, 01:16:59 AM »
Thanks so much you guys. Really, it helps. The one particular example of this whole thing being seen in the mind like a movie - it helps clear things up in my muddled up head - how amazing! MJ being the producer/director in all this. I understand now...I know people who would say "Are you absolutely nutts? You're disecting and inserting and manipulating reality...wake up...he's dead."
I am wondering if anything new is going to come out this summer...that will add to the picture coming together with the pieces we already have...it's like a puzzle, isn't it?
Everyone keep the opinions coming. They help me alot..thanks! 
42
« on: March 30, 2010, 01:04:37 AM »
I can sense a frustration coming from everyone who wishes for 'something' - 'anything' to happen...it's as though we are reaching the one year mark soon - since MJ has 'disappeared'. I say 'disappeared' because I myself still have hope he is alive, although I cannot come to a 100% certainty - believe me it has nothing to do with my faith in the hoax theory. I am just trying to maintain a sanity.
Now, I think this approaching the one year mark, is making alot of people edgy - needing, wanting more yet finding it harder to hang on, yet again wanting to hang on.
I'm wondering how fans can "approach" the Jacksons and unite for the cry against injustice - when we don't even really know where the Jacksons themselves really stand on whether MJ is alive or not? We still have not heard them ask us to stop "this nonsense" if it is what they might think? How can you approach someone or a group of people when you know that the biggest issue HERE, in this website, is FOR the people who believe in the hoax theory? Meaning - how can we approach the Jacksons, when we don't really know if they are hiding something or not? It would be odd to go up and say "Hey Jackson family - you know, we really are with you - we support you - we want to help change the world - get justice going in the name of MJ and those like MJ who have suffered mass media's twisted games and strong hold ---but----um...are we on the same level here, regarding our belief in the hoax? OR not??"
I mean it is an issue that CANNOT be separated or dismissed or even set aside for awhile. I mean, either you believe MJ is dead or not. In order to go forth and support the family, you need to be on common grounds with THAT SINGLE fact, either he's dead or alive. It's like going to a funeral and giving your condolences to the deceased person's survivors, but there's that unspoken unfamiliar ground - of whether or not the deceased really is deceased or not. What's that? That is so weird. There HAS TO BE clarity on that one area. I mean after all, we're not discussing with MJ's family what his biggest hits were in the past. That's something that can be pulled out from the books of facts. No one can argue which of his songs were the hit makers and which weren't. It's in the charts, in the files...but we're dealing with a PERSON who HAD or STILL HAS a life...We don't even KNOW that for sure, either way.
Unless we're willing to just drop that whole subject of the hoax. Unless we're just willing to say that whether or not he is alive or not - is not as important as changing the world. Now, who is willing to really say they don't care anymore if he's alive or not? Call me selfish, call me ignorant, call me whatever...but I am on this website because it is a deal breaker for me. A deal breaker. To find out or try to at least, figure out whether the hoax will turn out to be true - or not. If I wasn't a fan that cared about the issue - if my sole purpose was to carry through with the MJ legacy of world change, perhaps I'd be out there physically, doing something to push that change. But that's not my sole purpose here. Sorry if it sounds bad, but that's the truth.
Yeah, MJ wanted/wants change - but I'm not letting go of the hunt and wait to see what happens from now. Look - I can't even decide whether I want to speak in present or past tense when it comes to MJ's desire for change in our universe. I'm still NOT THERE - not ready to just toss this issue out. If anything, to say the least, if anything I'd like to see - is at least have the Jackson family say straight to the camera, "Please stop this hoax theory nonsense...let Michael's dream prosper - please help us stop the injustice with your first small step...unite...don't divide." But they haven't come up with anything close to that - they KNOW about the theory...but where are their opinions? Their voices to us? Maybe that might be the first step here - to try and get the Jacksons to say SOMETHING. ANYTHING...about all of us who are trying to find some closure to MJ's disappearance? True they can't MAKE US believe something we don't want to - but they can at least dish out their card, the one that they hold in their hand...the one that they believe is to be true...dead or alive? Which one is it, Jackson family? We need to know where YOU stand. Tell us Jackson family, are we being disrespectful to you and Michael, for continuing this saga? Or are we getting warmer and warmer by the month, the week, the day, the hour? I need to know..so that then, I can find a PLACE to stand and start thinking what my next move might be - towards a better world...what MJ wanted...or wants...you see what I mean? Our leader in the army - is missing. His own family has not cleared up inconsistencies, slip ups, missing pieces to the puzzle...those that were closer to Michael physically than we fans ever got...And if THEY can't make a statement...how can we conclude anything???
43
« on: March 30, 2010, 12:22:52 AM »
Ok...I'm having a down day..I need your help. Please explain to me your opinions and theories as to why the Jacksons are now really trying to nail CM if MJ is actually alive? Where does this take the hoax theory? Or are they just trying to make it look like CM is going to get nailed, just to quiet the growing noise on MJ's deathhoax? What is going on? I am feeling, that if CM ends up behind bars - then there's no way MJ is still alive...I know that lots of innocent people have in the past been jailed and even executed wrongly - or been taken near execution, only to be released due to "error"...BUT...if CM really does end up behind bars, I am going to find it really hard to keep beleiving MJ is still alive. He would NOT have an innocent man end up that way, just to make his hoax work out as planned...NOW..that is, of course, the Jacksons are all in on the hoax. BUT if they are NOT in on the hoax, then I can see how they themselves need to see CM behind bars, -- but...then if THAT is true, why have they been so quiet and have never looked straight into the cameras and demanded or pleaded that we all stop disrespecting MJ's passing and stop this torture with the hoax theory...now someone out there - please educate me and enlighten me on all this...it's just not making sense the more time passes...As you can tell, I'd LOVE to still be on board with the believers. I'm not going to change my username - I want to be a believer - but not just a believer out of ignorance, but a believer with steadfast grounds to support my belief...HELP! 
44
« on: March 28, 2010, 05:09:33 AM »
Although my energy level of faith has seemed to dwindle --- I cannot say that I have given up. But I do not feel as strong...I need to energize my faith...I am waiting for this summer - June, and if no news or nothing happens, then July and Finally August....if August passes too with nothing, no news, no incidents, NOTHING...then I think it will be a very very difficult September for me - to summon up more courage and energy to keep believing. It's not that there aren't enough odd questions unanswered - but rather...the thought that even with the odd unanswered questions, MJ might have chosen a new life...in total secrecy...and an unidentifiable profile...IF he is still alive...and IF he does not make a comeback this summer....I am so afraid of this summer because it will be a season of the cards being played....what will happen...if it will happen....
45
« on: March 20, 2010, 03:25:11 AM »
I don't understand the point of the topic. First of all, MJ is only human. For anyone to make a big deal about him lieing about facial surgery or anything for that matter - has forgotten that maybe he sometimes got sick and tired of everyone asking stupid questions, or everyone wanting to make him into a perfect godlike creature. Yes, he is our MJ, the only MJ, and we love everything about him - but that should also include loving his need to not be honest sometimes. He doesn't owe us anything. We follow him and love him because we choose to do so. We have all with held a truth, or distorted the truth, or even lied once in a while - often because we just felt there was no need for the questioning party to know the truth or facts. Just because the world loves him and is unquestioning in faith to him, does not mean he doesn't have the right to say or hide what he wants to hide.
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