Hey all.
I am 25 yrs, woman from sweden!
I am going to be very honest here so here it goes.
I grew up with my mom (and sister) my mom listened to MJ's song ALL the time, could hardly miss it cause it was ALWAYS on the radio, mtv and everywhere, LOL. So I grew up hearing his songs, singing along, watching his videos.
BUT
I was never a fan, I still don't consider myself a fan.
Ok, pls don't get angry now
I am still having guilty feelings over this. The first "scandal" of MJ happened in 93? In 1997 or so when I really got into music I heard, only heard fast on the "news" and mags all over, awful things about him, so, without even thinking about it, I pushed him away from all music and tv. Nothing MJ!
I always was, How can you like MJ he is a Perv, and weird and so on...
I can't belive I was like that not even looking into it, but I was 10+.
I didn't care about him at all, but yeah some song I heard (cause u cant avoid him hehe) were good. Then the next scandal, I felt disgusted by him, more angry.
Then he died, I felt nothing, I was like oh, what happened, ok whatever. Didn't care so much.
BUT
1 year ago, I awoke as many people are talking about, the awakening. Yup, it happened to me. Loving things started to happen, everything changed. I can't explain it. And I just felt so much love and light and... moving on.
I tend to follow my heart now. Guess where it led me. For some reason I started listening to MJ songs. And then, I started to hear his messages in his songs. I was like, thats how I feel, how could I have missed all this!!!
So I have listened to all his albums I don't know how many times now. Then last week it hit me, he is dead ( I was looking into the Illuminati, that was how I got into MJ) and I never, ever eveeerr have felt such grief, 2 yrs later. ust like that. I swear I have been crying, listening to some of his songs are very tough for me. I jsut feel so much love for him I can't explain it.
I am more into that the Illuminati killed him, if he is dead, they did it! No doubt. If he faked it, he did it because of them and maybe to prove something. For me, it is only one of these things. It is my gut feeling.
There is no doubt in my mind, heart and soul that MJ is INNOSENCE to everything awful that have been thrown at him! It makes me sick!!! (But yet I belived this when I was younger, until little less than 1 month ago)
I thought this death hoax was BULL, LMAO, well here I am. HAHA! But I stay at being in 50/50 about it. Just thinking about him being dead makes me so sad, it is blowing my mind that I am grieving NOW! I felt as if I missed so much!
Why do I belive it might be a hoax, well, he talked about his "murder" coming, years before it did. He could have either know he would be and faked his death to prevent it or just simply be dead. But if anyone could do it it would be MJ. the connections, friends, money, hideouts. He could. He said he got music from heaven, the lyrics, that he channeled these songs. He seem to be very open. Awaken. Pure. Love.
The only brother who has said that it is not a hoax is Jermaine via his twitter. But there are speculations that maybe the jackson family are NOT in on the hoax, or a part of the family are not. So I don't know.
IF it is a hoax and IF he would return, my focus would be on this July, or near next year 2012 or in the beginning of 2013. Or maybe he will never return. or he might just be dead.
Well, this is my whole truth story about my feelings, past and present about MJ. No need to bash me about how I felt about him b4. I am already going through that, allthough I know, the past is the past and the now is now.
I will 4-ever LOVE him!
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