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« on: May 10, 2011, 11:49:43 PM »
Sigh...what can I say? I said goodbye about a year ago...I had just surrendered to the idea that the man was gone, period....I was okay, picking up on life, got back into the normalcy of things. I still thought about the man...read things online...sometimes even came in here and reviewed what was going on...but I stayed away still. Then something occurred to me - mentally, I had recovered. I was no longer depressed, no longer dragging myself and over consumed with Michael and the whole idea of him vanishing from the world as we know it. I no longer felt like the Alpha and Omega had disappeared - which by the way, WAS a really harmful thing back when I was first affected by the loss of him in our lives. I didn't realize after saying goodbye on this website, after all the time away, I had evolved into a healthier mindset. And since I keep coming back to read up on everyone - I decided why not go back in? Well I had to resubmit myself with a new account because I had forgotten my password and all that - and decided just to start all over again, so here I am - as 50th_State_Believer2 !! I am now back on track, living my own life fully, but at the same time, gathering my thoughts on this summer - and the possibility that many of us still choose to believe. But in a funny way, it is not an obessive thing to me anymore. I feel refreshed - positive - hopeful - but if it doesn't happen, it will not consume me totally. It will not be another ending of the world. I can continue to relive the energy of MJ in my heart, and enjoy the fact that he will always be worth another hopeful month, year...and it's okay to wait. We never know anything about our own lives anyway if you think about it. Just don't get so overconsumed - that's the secret. LIVE...LOVE...Find the true priceless purpose of life that surrounds you every day, through loved ones, friends, family, strangers you don't owe anything to, but may appreciate and benefit from your positive energy. Michael didn't personally know the entire world of people - but imagine if he had only been so overconsumed with just one thing that controlled his outlook on a positive life - he would not be who he stands for. He kept busy with the many many things that made him love life. In the same way, we have to remember to seek those things we love in life, and not be overconsumed to the point in one thing that we are NO LONGER ALIVE..even when we are alive...It's good to be back...although I was only in here for not too long before I left permanently, and probably nobody remembers or knows me., it's ok. This is a new start for me!! bearhug
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