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Messages - GreenManMakeAChange
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1
« on: July 12, 2011, 08:31:53 PM »
Firstly welcome back..and I know what you're might be feeling. I was never a "fan" of MJ. I knew his music, danced to his music at nightclubs etc..but never was interested in "Him" other than what I read in the tabloids.
At the moment, I am studying the stages of grief...the first stage DENIAL....now, for a long time I thought maybe these fans are stuck on the first stage and thats why they are here...
But, take into account, that I am not a fan. What brought me here? I am not grieving.
It was the weiderness and inconsistencies surrounding the death, that led me here. In other words, I am not in denial.
I am someone who has thought something else is going on here. I believe he is still alive, but the world needs to think he is dead. Thats why so many things point to him being dead...otherwise, the whole point of this hoax would have been for nothing....Keep the faith. Regardless of what you believe, and what happens, please know that you are not alone..God bless Maybe I'm not understanding you, but how are you not a fan if you are on this site? Is it just about the music and nothing else but the curiousity, or you just like the music and don't read much into the person? What do you believe and not believe about the speculations over the years? Not putting you down, just curious. I've been a huge MJ fan and collector for so many years, but though I'm also a collector of a few other artists I admire, I don't feel personal attachment to them like I have with MJ, and still am trying to understand why it's this way. Anyways, I learned a lot about theories regarding death and the psychology behind it. I agree with the stages of death, but I also agree that these stages are not linear and can be fluid and interchangeable, and even the theorist that designed these stages has been critical of them not always being in that order. I definitely felt them at all levels changing every minute, cause I didn't know what to believe, and I have had lots of anger too, cause I'm an angry person generally.
2
« on: July 12, 2011, 06:25:57 PM »
Thanks for the welcomes. Thanks, you like my writing? Normally I'm just ranting and a little lazy with my grammar to care, but if you enjoyed it, that's good to hear  I was too numb to admit he was dead and many times he didn't feel like it though the minute I would make myself admit it, I would cry or start insulting cause of being angry he left us though it's not his fault and beating myself up for my selfish behaviour. I can't even say died or killed and I can't admit who Conrad is. Even the first time I heard him speak, I thought I would scream and cry immediately, I just started laughing with tears like I was watching Saturday Night Live and it was a joke, and this was way before discoveirng any hoax discussions happening. It's like a part of me was not satisfied with what I was hearing though it was in front of me, though I think it could have also been shock or trauma. Heck, I think sometimes maybe this board is a result of our post traumatic stress and culture shock of losing him, but I'm just going to hang around here and see what happens. And I do enjoy talking to you too and think we see things others can't.
3
« on: July 12, 2011, 05:21:59 AM »
Who the hell is this Desiree and how come no one has heard of her? I read through that blog and find it weird how someone could really love someone so much and yet go on and on about them calling them a child molester and pedophile and have a fascination with repeatedly writing about it. She even admits to not being a fan and being mean about him until he died and just being in love with him, but it gets worse from there. However, I also find some of that information she posted shocking cause I never bothered to read those awful books that were written by Evan Chandler and the Christopher Anderson book that I used to hide if I saw it in stores before, I do see used copies sometimes. I do agree he did not know boundaries and that's what got him in trouble, but it does not make him guilty of being a molester or liking anyone like that, people just think too sexual now.
He is just too complex and full of drama which is why I understand the need for some fans to back away or take a breather from all the controversies, but just know in the back of your head that some of them are big shots or just thrive off negative attention, or do this kind of thing to feel better about themselves or are better off. Think about the things they did not post.
4
« on: July 12, 2011, 05:10:36 AM »
I would snicker at possible hoax suggestions in 2009/10, but when I heard the airport/hospital slip up from Jermaine in the airport, that was my big hope and then I found this site and would even get signs, though I always had those. I didn't believe it completely, I was at 50-50 and still am with an open mind. I stopped coming on cause I felt I was being delusional and it was not good for my emotional health, and someone I know claimed they knew someone at UCLA that confirmed it was real so I decided to just not come on here for awhile, but I don't believe that story anymore and if I wanted, I could make up shit too out of boredom
5
« on: July 12, 2011, 03:04:15 AM »
I haven't been here in months, I definitely went through more ups and downs in my life since. I even stopped believing in the hoax cause of some brainwashing from someone, but I just have an open mind about whatever happens, and found myself joking about the hoax a few times recently to my mom when she brought him up, so I decided to come back here just to read.
6
« on: July 11, 2011, 04:48:30 AM »
She didn't change any look, this picture is from 2001 during the All For You era when she did the cover for RedBook magazine.
7
« on: September 14, 2010, 03:17:21 AM »
you guys, I am officially done with this site but I'm glad to have met you all and hope you can find inner peace within, regardless of what you think the real deal is.
*joins in to sing bye bye bye*
8
« on: September 10, 2010, 11:58:37 AM »
Apparantly you can drink it in tea and put into baked goods as well, but smoking into the lungs gets the full healing effect. My nephew is really into smoking the stuff, and likes it so much, says it stablizes his bi-polar issues, but unfortunately it has opened his mind to the money-governed world we live in, so he works only enough to scrape by, and creates music and reflects the rest of the time! :lol: His girlfriend works full time. Just imagine how aware of things we'd all be if we all smoked!  I'm also bipolar and create music in my leisure time aside from my job, which is not full time but gives me flexible hours and free time.
9
« on: September 08, 2010, 10:39:11 PM »
I'm not going to judge you for it. Anger is part of grief and manifests itself in the weirdest ways. My mind did the weirdest things to me cause it hurt too much to love him at times, fooling me into thinking I don't love him anymore sometimes though it's not true. Right now, I just feel like no one in the world has hurt me more than him, cause I let him by getting too too attached years ago cause of running from my own stress
10
« on: September 08, 2010, 10:36:34 PM »
Thanks for understanding, I'm crying tonight too
I don't want anything to happen to me and I would never give up, but sometimes I am so sad I don't know if I can live like this anymore, just grieving and feeling depressed and hopeless. Right now I can't even glimpse at michael.
11
« on: September 05, 2010, 04:06:24 PM »
me too, everyday I cry for what they did to this man for years more than murray, cause I still can't admit what murray did and how, it won't register and my mind blocks it out, even when I look at him or read about it
12
« on: August 31, 2010, 12:02:32 AM »
I know all about the silly grin or giggle, I have done it for years when I heard mj related things everywhere, and selective memory has a lot to do with it.
13
« on: August 30, 2010, 11:59:30 PM »
they were saying something like this months ago remember? And nothing came out of it? I would like to believe it's just a tabloid article and that nothing is going to come out of it when 2 autopsies were done and they still have lab samples, which I'm pretty sure they said they still have and will be used.
14
« on: August 28, 2010, 01:37:38 AM »
even if people favour him now, if it turns out he "fooled" them, they will go back to their attitudes, people are fickle you know.
15
« on: August 26, 2010, 11:07:03 PM »
I wish some people would stop saying we have till 2012. Some of us don't believe in that propaganda, even if your religion does, please be respectful to others who don't believe that. I myself don't know if Michael meant that or not either...
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