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« on: December 24, 2009, 07:07:41 PM »
I love you, this is a promise. I love you more than anything in the world and I am proud of this fact. I need to admit something to you, though, something that has caused me so much agonizing guilt. Before the events of June 25, 2009 I was not a fan. I was a young girl who wasn't raised to care that much of you, or people in general I suppose. But on that summer day, my heart began to grow, because of you. Earlier this year, I prayed to God to send me an angel to help me, and make me feel loved. You were the answer to these prayers. And on June 25, as soon as my mother announced to me you had died, I was hit with a wave of emotions. I sat on the couch and stared at the news scrolling across the TV, trying to tune out the voices telling me this impossible news, and began sorting these emotions out. First there was a feeling of relief, that the man the media had to described to me as a creep was gone. I quickly threw that one out. Then I discovered there was more there. New feelings for you I had yet to unlock due to my ignorance. Amazement and fascination for your life. I ran to my own room after my mom refused to change the channel. I began alternating channels between MTV, VH1, BET, CNN, HLN, Tv Guide Network, and whatever other channels I could find mentioning you. I quickly discovered there was more to you than the "Thriller" video. So much more. I sat there, staring at the TV, all day. That summer, and still now, all I could do was think about you. I would constantly watch news about you on TV, and admire your brilliant music videos. I noticed a quality in your voice that made me feel safe, loved. And I suppose that's how it happened. That I fell completely in love with you and whatever you chose to do. Along with this, I developed a deeper love and understanding for the world and for all people. I became closer to God, through you. I cried so hard watching your memorial, Michael. Then, in about October, I found this hoax idea on the internet. I was very interested. It seemed so right. I could feel it in my heart, that I did really believe in this. I watched all the youtube videos, and found so much comfort in thinking you could still be out there somewhere, alive. In December, about a week or so ago, I found this website. I have only been here a little while, but I already have a very solid, strong faith in the fact you are alive and have made many new, true friends who are everything friends should be, because they know you like I do. Today, you occupy many of my thoughts. I can only think you are alive, there is no other way for me to live. If you are alive reading this, just know that I love you. You will always have a friend in me, whether we ever meet in person or not, I will be there. You have strengthened my faith in God, and deepened my love for this world and my desire to heal it. Thank you, Michael. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for you. All I can say is thank you. You saved my life and inspired me to go after my dreams. I wish everyone could receive the miracle you are to me. On this Christmas Eve, I have learned to except you may not come back tomorrow. I would be so very joyful if you did, but if you don't want to, you have my full support. Come back in at your own time, and then we can begin to heal this world, together, all of us. Me, you, and the rest of your Army of L.O.V.E. You have my love, support and thanks forever, Michael. Merry Christmas.
-Molly(:
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