Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators
General Michael Jackson Forum => Random MJ Talk => Topic started by: xxHoldMyHandxx on March 04, 2010, 08:27:51 AM
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Hey dears. I know I don't post much, but I really need to get this off my chest. =(
So over here in Australia TII came out yesterday. I got it straight away and took it home and watched it. I was fine... Ever since I discovered this may be a hoax I haven't really cried that much anymore. But anyway, I watched it 3 more times today. On the last time, I was watching Man in the Mirror and felt completely normal. But then it got to the part just before it does the "Michael Jackson King of Pop Love Lives Forever" thing, and suddenly I felt really, really sick to my stomach and just burst into tears. I didn't know why at first, but then the thought came to my head that that moment could be the last thing we ever see from Michael (sorry if that upsets anyone) and I haven't been able to stop crying for the last 8 hours. = I'm so scared that we'll never get him back again... and I know I'll have to start grieving all over again. It hurt so much the first time, I don't want to go through that again... Now I cannot even look at the movie again, I know I will be able to once I've calmed down but I tried to watch it again and the second he came on screen my chest started hurting and I cried even more. I'm really scared guys... Why did this happen so suddenly? =(
Thankyou so much if you have read this far. Sorry if that got a little boring, but I really needed to get it out somewhere. xx
L.O.V.E
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oh dear... try to remember that what ever happend to MJ or where ever he is; he is much better than before... I believe that he is still here, but that might not help U much... Remember how he is able to touch hearts and souls, and that is WORLDWiDE..
Its ok to feel sad sometimes... we all do. But there are a lot of feelings around MJ, I personally think that it will turn out ok - weather he returns or not... (Im sure that his alive btw)
sorry for my bad english; regards from Copenhagen, Denmark...
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I know that feeling. It comes and goes. It is so strange. Right now I'm scared, too. I did not watch the whole DVD since I purchased it last week. I watched the extras though and the one about "Memories of Michael" made me cringe again.
I know the evidences about Michael being alive and I do find them convincing, but still I think that maybe I'm searching for those evidences because I cannot handle the idea that Michael might be dead. Maybe my ability to judge is damaged because I don't want any evidence that Michael is NOT alive being convincing.
And yes, like you I will have to start mourning all over again, too - but I don't want to. When those thoughts enter me I go away and keep myself busy with other things. Right now I'm not able to think about Michael being dead - because those evidences that he is alive are too convincing. I caught in the middle and I cannot move.
The current situation is that I cannot be relaxed and confident about Michael being alive. But also I cannot do the mourning, which would be totally necessary for my mental health. I'm waiting and hoping.
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How did you find out about the hoax? And how long were you grieving? I'm sorry if I'm too curious, but what you write sounds so much like myself.
*hugs*
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all you have to do is open your heart and let the sunshine in. my feeling is also goes up and down, that one time, i refused to listen to anything michael anymore, especially his ballad songs because his voice really like a sharp knife tearing up my heart, and that the fact we might not be able to listen to his voice again or see him..but i just stand up and accept everything. this is life. it's about come and go, right or wrong...okay, i can't go on consoling you because i started to feel very sad, because i'm listening to his someone in the dark...i'm sorry........but you have to be strong....if michael could deal with all the madness throughout his life, why can't you? why can't we? open your heart, open your mind, open your eyes. what michael has went through were the most excruciating things than what we are going through now...we still have memories of him...cherish them.... :) *hugs*
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I also couldn't watch it... I cried... :(
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How did you find out about the hoax? And how long were you grieving? I'm sorry if I'm too curious, but what you write sounds so much like myself.
*hugs*
And me.. :cry:
I was fine watching it the other day till it got to I Just Cant Stop Loving You.
Cried my bludy eyes out.
I think it was the ..."And if I stop.. then tell me just what will I do..."
Cause I really dont know what Im gona do if this is the end.
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Thankyou everyone for your sweet replies =) they help me know I'm not alone in all of this. I truly appreciate it! =) Lots of love to you all <3
How did you find out about the hoax? And how long were you grieving? I'm sorry if I'm too curious, but what you write sounds so much like myself.
*hugs*
Hey =) I think I just found out about it while browsing through Youtube videos. In the related videos it came up "Is Michael Jackson really dead?" and I thought "Of course, silly." But I watched it and found it had some very interesting points =) I think I was grieving until about September, which is when I discovered this. Lots of love to you =) *hug*
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all you have to do is open your heart and let the sunshine in. my feeling is also goes up and down, that one time, i refused to listen to anything michael anymore, especially his ballad songs because his voice really like a sharp knife tearing up my heart, and that the fact we might not be able to listen to his voice again or see him..but i just stand up and accept everything. this is life. it's about come and go, right or wrong...okay, i can't go on consoling you because i started to feel very sad, because i'm listening to his someone in the dark...i'm sorry........but you have to be strong....if michael could deal with all the madness throughout his life, why can't you? why can't we? open your heart, open your mind, open your eyes. what michael has went through were the most excruciating things than what we are going through now...we still have memories of him...cherish them.... :) *hugs*
This is a very nice reply. =) I really really love the ending. Thank you, you really did help me remember that I should be appreciative that I have such a nice life compared to what our lovely Michael went through and that even if we don't see him again, we are so lucky for having him for the time we did. Lots of love =) xx
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all you have to do is open your heart and let the sunshine in. my feeling is also goes up and down, that one time, i refused to listen to anything michael anymore, especially his ballad songs because his voice really like a sharp knife tearing up my heart, and that the fact we might not be able to listen to his voice again or see him..but i just stand up and accept everything. this is life. it's about come and go, right or wrong...okay, i can't go on consoling you because i started to feel very sad, because i'm listening to his someone in the dark...i'm sorry........but you have to be strong....if michael could deal with all the madness throughout his life, why can't you? why can't we? open your heart, open your mind, open your eyes. what michael has went through were the most excruciating things than what we are going through now...we still have memories of him...cherish them.... :) *hugs*
This is a very nice reply. =) I really really love the ending. Thank you, you really did help me remember that I should be appreciative that I have such a nice life compared to what our lovely Michael went through and that even if we don't see him again, we are so lucky for having him for the time we did. Lots of love =) xx
you're welcome..we have a lot to learn from what has happened... :)
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I can't always listen to him either, it's okay. It's like stabbing a wound and the worst feeling ever at times, and okay at others for me, it depends on the song. Other times I could sit through sensitive songs and feel cold cause of being in denial, but other times it's bad.
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I always get a strange feeling whenever I watch This is It...I feel like..wow..this was him before he died..was he actually happy..i just love how he loved music...it seemed like he was actually enjoying life...and then...he just died...and it brings tears to my eyes (whenever i'm alone) because i think...he won't ever see his children again..michael is dead...and then i come on here and there are so many things that say he isn't but i can't help this gut feeling every time i watch it...like he's gone and i can't get him back :( Man in the mirror is the song that makes me cry too..it is just so eye opening...and i'll watch the movie and when he is talking to the crew i'm just like "NO! The movie can't be over already! It's too soon!" Because I feel like that is the last i see of him...it feels just like his life..I feel like it was over too soon...like why can't i have enjoyed micahel's talent while he lived?? why can't he have lived longer??? and I could have gone to a concert or something?? I feel so bad that i just discovered michael when he passed away..and just became a fan when This is it came out...I'm only 14 but i feel like i missed out on so much....and just imagine all those feelings packed into man in the mirror...man it's hard...i don't even know what to think anymore...there is just this horrible feeling inside me he is gone but there is no ABSOLUTE UNDENIABLE proof he is..or that he is alive for that matter...the only thing that has been eye opening to me is the ambulance picture...why is there not a single one but there is video of a man taking pictures of the ambulance??? With all this controversy who cares if the pictures are horrible and you can't see anything just release them so we know there were some attempts at taking pictures....now all we have is a fake one...and the one thing making me think he is actually dead is the newest autopsy..it is just too real to me..but what do i know...i'm 14 i know nothing about autopsies..it's just..i don't know...i just needed to get that off my chest..i probably didn't make any sense right there and sorry i rambled...
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You are grieiving, honey... we all still are and we do it in different ways.
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Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
it's okay and normal to feel this way!!! you're not alone (i swear i'm not trying to make any more references to michael's songs!!). this whole thing is difficult. it's normal to doubt when we dont actually have concrete proof. we don't have him putting up a video saying, "hey guys...just kidding." we're here for you, ups and downs. keep the faith (okay i'm stopping). much love!!
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you are only 14? I feel so sad you feel this way, I'm pretty devastated at my age, but I would have been even more vulnerable at yours and I'm pretty bad right too cause I feel like my inner child is wounded by this if that makes any sense
I feel creeped out by this is it myself thinking it's his last days, I couldn't finish watching it after buying it.
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you are only 14? I feel so sad you feel this way, I'm pretty devastated at my age, but I would have been even more vulnerable at yours and I'm pretty bad right too cause I feel like my inner child is wounded by this if that makes any sense
I feel creeped out by this is it myself thinking it's his last days, I couldn't finish watching it after buying it.
yes, I am only 14 and yes, it makes perfect sense. It just feels so off because sometimes I'll be sitting there listening to his music and then I'm like wow...he's not at home with his family..he's not with his kids...and it just makes me so mad/sad about how i have acted previously about him (stupid jokes, etc.) and now i love his music! I know it doesn't directly affect me...but it kind of does..because I have been so consumed by his music and so intersted in his life and it's just like wow...how could I have not realized there was this amazing man with so much talent and all I saw was the jacko the media talked about..i feel so stupid because I was gullible then..if that makes any sense at all :P i feel like I can't get my words out the way i want to.. :P
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Thank you all so much for your replies... I had another rough day today. Thanks everyone for being you!! :)
and to YoungNewMJFan, sweety, you don't need to feel bad about becoming a fan after his passing. It's human nature :) Before his death, even me, (according to many people.. Not self proclaimed, lol) one of the biggest fans of him, I laughed at some of those stupid jokes. I found so many of them offensive, but I couldn't help but laugh at a few of them. And yeah, I know it's hard thinking that maybe that really was it... Maybe we won't get him back... Maybe we will... But whatever happens we are so lucky that we can remember him through his music, dance, and the person he was!
Oh, and by the way guys, I said in my post when I joined a while ago that I'm 16. I'm actually 13, and I'm truly sorry I lied about that!! I was just scared about being too young, but now I realise there are others my age here. xx Lots of love to you all.
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Thank you all so much for your replies... I had another rough day today. Thanks everyone for being you!! :)
and to YoungNewMJFan, sweety, you don't need to feel bad about becoming a fan after his passing. It's human nature :) Before his death, even me, (according to many people.. Not self proclaimed, lol) one of the biggest fans of him, I laughed at some of those stupid jokes. I found so many of them offensive, but I couldn't help but laugh at a few of them. And yeah, I know it's hard thinking that maybe that really was it... Maybe we won't get him back... Maybe we will... But whatever happens we are so lucky that we can remember him through his music, dance, and the person he was!
Oh, and by the way guys, I said in my post when I joined a while ago that I'm 16. I'm actually 13, and I'm truly sorry I lied about that!! I was just scared about being too young, but now I realise there are others my age here. xx Lots of love to you all.
There are plenty of people here your age I have come to realize, just look at a few of the what is your age? forums and BAM! There are alot of young people he. It's really cool :)
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I liked michael since I was 2 or 3 if I saw him on tv through a video or whatever, and through a toy I had or if someone performed his songs at events which would happen, but when I was 12, 13, 14 during HIStory era, my love for his really bloomed cause I was catching up on him and it was such a magical feeling coming home from school to sit down and watch his videos or listen to his music or watch other things of his I had and still do. It's like every year I would discover more and more of him cause I would use my allowance to go buy another vhs or find someone who has mj footage I could dub for myself. I really see myself in you when reading about how much you love him. I wasn't ever mean to him before that, but I'm sure I laughed at him a little bit too about him wearing too much makeup or whatever back then or just thought he looked like a girl cause I was young and didn't know anything, it's normal to laugh at what you don't understand and mj is a hard character to read anyways so it's okay. I used to wonder if he was black or white too but I wasn't asking to be mean, I was just so confused cause I was young and thought I would get it when I'm older and then I learned about vitiligo. Forgive yourself for it and you'll feel better :)
I feel just as young as back then too now, like a teenager all over again that's lost. So much happened since I could truly peacefully enjoy him and I'm grieving those days too, which is why I'm still crying. It hurt me to see what they did to him.
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I liked michael since I was 2 or 3 if I saw him on tv through a video or whatever, and through a toy I had or if someone performed his songs at events which would happen, but when I was 12, 13, 14 during HIStory era, my love for his really bloomed cause I was catching up on him and it was such a magical feeling coming home from school to sit down and watch his videos or listen to his music or watch other things of his I had and still do. It's like every year I would discover more and more of him cause I would use my allowance to go buy another vhs or find someone who has mj footage I could dub for myself. I really see myself in you when reading about how much you love him. I wasn't ever mean to him before that, but I'm sure I laughed at him a little bit too about him wearing too much makeup or whatever back then or just thought he looked like a girl cause I was young and didn't know anything, it's normal to laugh at what you don't understand and mj is a hard character to read anyways so it's okay. I used to wonder if he was black or white too but I wasn't asking to be mean, I was just so confused cause I was young and thought I would get it when I'm older and then I learned about vitiligo. Forgive yourself for it and you'll feel better :)
I feel just as young as back then too now, like a teenager all over again that's lost. So much happened since I could truly peacefully enjoy him and I'm grieving those days too, which is why I'm still crying. It hurt me to see what they did to him.
People at my school still make fun of him today and it is always hard not to say something because i know they would constantly make fun of me and one of my friends from elementary school actually loved him but I never took the time to listen to him...that's why i kind of feel bad on what I missed out on because I had a chane before but never took it..also I know what you mean about his skin color and how feminine he looked...when i first saw him was on tv at my friends house (same friend) and I remember my words so clearly.."Who is that?" her reply "Michael Jackson"..."HAHA! I though it was a girl!" It makes me sad now because how much I love his music. Also when I was younger I was like..."wait in thriller he was black?? how is he white??" and that's when i heard the rumors about him bleaching his skin and believed them..also i believed that he bought the elephant man's bones until just recently when i watched an interview (i think Oprah) where he denied it and I felt so bad because I believed it for the longest time....
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yeah it's ok to be confused, I was under 10 when bad and black or white were new and though I liked them, I wondered why he didn't look dark skinned and was confused and thought adults were lying to me or something, but then just told myself it's the same michael and I'll get it someday, and that I did.
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Oh yeah, just an update..you know that elementary school friend who I said used to love Michael Jackson??Well, I just caught up with her on facebook and guess what? Now she has scene hair wears dark dark dark eye liner and listens to hard classic rock, classic rock, heavy metal, screamo, and soft rock..including led zepplin and pink floyd... :shock: so yeah....just saying.. :shock: