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Michael, I speak on behalf of every last fan of yours from the begininng, and what I'm about to say doesn't reflect me personally- as I said I speak for all of your fans, but I hope more will come on their own to apologize themselves. For what? For our intense selfishness over the decades, for our reckless, absurd behavior when we saw you out in public, for making you feel like your every moment has to be dedicated to giving us some good music or something, when you are a normal human being like everybody else and not a machine that can just produce, produce, produce. Michael, if the pain and suffering you had in your life was rooted with us, we're sorry. I know that your loneliness isn't as intense as it used to be, and if we are at the root of that, too, we're sorry. You are one of the most loving, caring people on the planet, you truly are, with empathy and concern about others to the point where the world would be a better place if more people were like you.. you deserve an abundance of love in return, you deserve to have plenty of people who care about you, because you are so, so precious to this world and its people- you are a global treasure, a blessing, there is no one like you, honestly. We all hope and or pray that you did have this love and care in the past, from your family, from special women in your life, from friends and family. When it comes down to me, I have only been a fan for one year and four months, but in that time, you have changed me as a person, not just with your music but with your words in interviews, your inspirarional speeches. It didn't take the 25th to teach me to love you truly, or about your pain, but after that day, my heart broke to hear of you suffering.. the Boteach tapes were very hard for me to hear. I thought, "Why? Why did fans have to be so incredibly stupid and put this poor, beautiful creature under so much pressure? Why couldn't he just forget about us when he needed to do and take a deep breath, and do something for himself?" It is our fault, to some extent- not your death, as I know that is not the truth now, but your feelings of being under pressure, your pain.. Fans, and always wanting to give your time to us.. it's our fault. I can only wonder how the fans that took part in those massive crowds that used to persue you like a herd of predetory elephants feel now, as most of them probably believe you are passed.. I know that I was consumed with guilt, every day I felt guilt gnawing away at me, despite my fandom being so new.. I'm sure that almost all longtime fans feel this way. But don't waste a minute feeling sorry for us, Michael, please don't, as it wouldn't be right if we didn't feel this way. I wish fans would have felt this guilty twenty-five years ago, or more, when you were still a poor, sweet, innocent child thrown to the ravenous jaws of fame and fandom.. We're so, so, so sorry. I pray that you will tell us, soon or someday, that you realize now that your life wasn't as miserable in the past as you thought, I pray that deep down in your heart, you truly do feel loved, and have for at the very, very least a substantial amount of years. And I mean really loved, from everyone, not just fans. We don't deserve nearly as much love and concern as you give us, we all love you, and we always have. I pray you have had and do have love from special women in your life, from lovers. We're sorry for everything we've ever caused you, Michael. If we could rewind time to the J5 days and take our selfishness beack, we would in a heartbeat. We're so, so very sorry, sweetheart..
refuse to make Michael a god like idol neither will i hold him up as a jesus figure.
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